Hard to Hate You // Michael Langdon

Part XIV - Competition

"I have a slight announcement to make," Venable announces from the head of the table.

Everyone stops eating their cubes to look up at Venable.  Coco sends me a questioning glance, but I just pretend to not know what's happening.

"The no copulation rule is now no longer in effect," she states.

Everyone looks between each other.  "No fucking way," Coco mutters to me.

"I'm not finished," Venable speaks up, directing everyone's attention back to her.  "This doesn't mean that you can just go around sleeping with whoever you'd like.  If you're engaging with a member of the opposite sex-"

"Ms. Venable, I don't think we're going to have to worry about matters of pregnancy," Gallant interrupts.  "All the men here are gay - besides possibly Langdon, although he doesn't seem interested in anybody in this outpost."

Venable shoots Gallant a glare that makes him look down at his plate.  "I am quite aware of that," she states coldly.  "Knowing that it's been almost two years since any of you have had sex, I'm just informing you all in case somebody decides to be unpredictable."

Coco scoffs.  "Let's be honest here, none of us even have anybody to have sex with.  The only straight man was Timothy, but thanks to Mead he's gone."

I chuckle.  "I would still never stoop that low, no matter how desperate I was."

"You guys are lucky Emily isn't here," Dinah sighs.  "Even then, it's still awfully insensitive of you to be saying this shit."

"Who's here to be offended?" Coco asks rhetorically.  "Timothy?"

I quickly cover my face with my hand to try to cover my laugh, but it doesn't help.  Coco begins cracking up, then I join her.  Gallant joins in, and soon the three of us are laughing uncontrollably while Dinah, Andre, and Venable just stare.

"Oh, come one, take a joke!" Gallant tells them.

"This is not a laughing matter," Dinah scolds, her tone a mix of shock and offense.

"Our sense of humor is basically nonexistent anymore," I sigh as I lean back in my chair and look at Coco.  "I would've never found that funny a year or two ago, yet here I am dying over it now."

She smiles as she composes herself.  "God, that felt good.  I haven't laughed like that in forever."

"Only at the expense of Timothy," Dinah remarks.

"Oh, shut up you dry hoe," Coco scoffs as she flips Dinah off.

I begin laughing again, and soon Coco and I are having a laughing fit all over again.  Oh, there is no way I'm letting her die with everyone else here at the Halloween ball.

......

"I must admit, I'm impressed," Michael states as he stands up from his desk.  "You somehow got Venable to revoke her no copulation rule and allow Emily to live."

I lean back in the chair by the fireplace.  "Impressive, am I right?"

He chuckles as he makes his way over to me.  "I'm guessing there's a reason for this though."

"Of course there is," I roll my eyes.  "I want to bargain with you."

"For what?" he questions.

"Coco's survival.  I don't want her to die on Halloween, whether it be at the hands of Venable or the witches."