Cyra| a Mandalorian/Star Wars Fan Fiction

3. Cooling Off

I walk away from the homestead, into the desert plains. It was the mid-afternoon now, and the suns shown brightly in the sky. I could feel my boots crushing the sand as I aggressively took each step. I stop after a few minutes once I reach a pile of boulders and rocks. I untie my black robe as I began to sweat from the heat. I throw it onto the ground, and take out my lightsabre.

I take a deep breathe, wiping away the last of any angry tears that had fallen on the walk. With my other hand, I slowly lift one of the large rocks from the ground using the force. I push quickly upward, letting go, and the boulder flies high into the air. I move my head down to stare directly in front into the plane of the desert, and wait. Suddenly, on instinct, I slice the rock in two as it falls in front of my face. The two sides fall onto the floor either side of me, sizzling slightly from the heat of the sabre.

I repeat this countless times. I had perfected this exercise over the past few months. It was beginning to get difficult to find untouched boulders and rocks. Each time, I was having to walk further out. The exercise was one of the only ones I could remember how to replicate from the Temple.

Once all the rocks lay around me in pieces, I started on the larger boulders. With each strike of a rock I could feel some of the anger leave my body. I couldn't quite understand why I felt such a fury at Din's arrival. I would be lying if there wasn't a part of me that wanted him to stay. But a slightly larger part of me wanted to stay in my personal isolation.

Alone and significantly less angry, my brain begins to race with questions. Who sent him? Why didn't they just come and collect me themselves? Why him? 'They chose me for a reason. Trust me.' Din's words swarm around my head as the smell of cindered rock touches the air. I move on to throwing handfuls of rocks into the air, swiping five, six at a time as they fall around me.

Din's arrival was ultimately a stinging reminder of the past and all that had changed. It placed my loneliness into a glaring light that was hard to ignore. I told myself I had chosen this isolation and way of life. I was comfortable. I had no reason to leave. The reality was I hadn't chosen to be alone. I was left.

I am now surrounded by the remaining rubble. Most of the boulders have now perished. I fall to the floor, slightly exhausted. Both mentally and physically. I lean against the rock, closing my eyes and facing up at the sun, letting it warm my face.

That was half the problem- I had no reason to leave. I had no reason to stay. My life felt like it had lost all meaning. I didn't know what to do. I had no purpose.

A calmness came over me at this realisation. A slight peacefulness. I took a deep breathe in, and tucked my lightsabre away. I undid my long hair out of the half-updo, and retied into a quick bun at the centre of my head. I continue taking deep breathes, and twist right to collect my robe on the floor next to me.

As I turned, my body jumped at the outstretched hand passing it to me.

'Is that what you do all day then?' Din asks, his helmet back on.

'How long were you watching?' I ask, taking my robe and loosely placing it on my shoulders.

'You're more of a fighter than you used to be,' he responds, ignoring my question whilst sitting next to me. 'More aggressive.'

At first, I don't know how to respond to his comment.

'Is that what you do all day?' Din asked again, but in a slightly more serious tone.

I shrugged my shoulders.

'Sometimes. Sometimes I read whatever books were left behind. Or go and trade. Or tend to the homestead.'