Cyra| a Mandalorian/Star Wars Fan Fiction

6. Red

I slid the door shut behind me to the tiny bathroom. Tucked in the corner stood a cubed shower. Directly in front me was a small metal toilet, and to my left, was a square, silver sink with a small rectangular mirror above. I turn to face into it. I stare at my reflection. My eyes are red and puffy. They won't forcing tears down my face. My body won't stop shaking. My heart won't stop beating. It felt as though I could feel every millilitre of blood being rushed through my body.

My head won't stop replaying the final moments over and over on repeat.

Dad falling. Kylo Ren yelling at me, forcing me to the opposite side of the bridge. The ongoing screams of my friends. Memories of later soon coming flooding in. They won't stop. Images of fighting and exploding and fire.

I clench my eyes shut. The walls of the bathroom feel like they're closing in on me. Everything inside me feels tight. The screams are flooding my head. Kylo Ren's outstretched hand in front of me. My father falling. My mother falling. Ben falling. The others leaving me on Tatooine. All the times my father left me. The times Din left me. Its as though I have broken open the damn that was keeping all my emotions back and now they won't stop. Memories I had repressed. Emotions I had closed off.

My brain starts flashing memories of my time with Kylo Ren. The screams grow. Buildings are falling. Societies are collapsing. People are being murdered in front of me. Because of me. Entire planets are crumbling to nothing but ash.

"STOP!" I try to yell but I cannot hear the sound of my own voice over everything. I clench my eyes shut harder, trying to cover the images in a dark shadow. I shove my hands over my ears, trying to block out the screams. But they just refuse to stop. I'm losing control of my own mind.

"STOP! PLEASE!" I yell harder, but all I can hear is screaming. All I can see is violence and fear and pain. I feel my mouth open. I feel my screaming scrape the back of my tonsils, but I can't hear anything.

The tightening grows. I can't breathe. I don't feel like myself. I feel like I am imploding.

'I don't know you anymore...'

I open my eyes. It's over. I've moved. I'm not in the bathroom anymore. I'm on a planet covered in hot lava. Mountains of charred rock surround me. I turn around. A woman and a man stand a little further than me.

'Anakin...You're breaking my heart. You're going down a path I can't follow.'

They cannot see me. I stare at myself. I'm in the same clothes. I pinch my arm. I feel pain. I don't feel tight anymore. All the panic has seemingly evaporated from my body. I touch my face. Dry. No more tears.

'I don't understand...' I say to myself. My breathing as returned to normal. My heart is beating slowly. My entire body feels lighter. But I still don't understand where I am.

'Because of Obi Wan.' The man replies, cloaked in a dark robe, a manic, tiresome look on his face.

Obi Wan. The man Ben is named after. My confusion grows. I take a few steps towards the couple to hear better.

'Because of what you've done. What you plan to do.' The woman replies, frightened.

Something's brought me here. Perhaps the force. I walk closer so I am just beside the couple. I remain invisible to them. Only I know I am here. Its as though I am reliving someone else's memory as a viewer, not a participant.

'Stop. Stop now. Come back. I love you!' The woman's voice is getting more panicked.

I take a moment to admire her. She's beautifial. She stands in juxtaposition with her surroundings. She appears light, airy, regal, full of life. However, everything around her seems dark, decaying, destroying. The couple are illuminated in a red glow from the surrounding lava, which warms the woman's face, yet makes the man appear more terrifying.

I take a few steps back from the couple. With a fuller view, I realise the woman is heavily pregnant.

'LIAR!' The man yells, causing me to jump back further. The woman's facial expression shifts to pure terror.

They both turn to face the small ship that stands a little further behind them. Out of it, walks a bearded man, with a look of deep concern on his face.

'NO!' The woman yells, as the other man walks cautiously towards the couple.

'You're with him!' The dark robed man shouts, his voice aching with betrayal. He walks around the woman to face the bearded man. 'You've brought him here to kill me.'

He sounds slightly deranged. The woman's extreme fear only rises at this accusation. I begin to feel panicky again, unsure of where to look- at the couple, or at the new, approaching man.

'No-' Before the woman can finish her sentence, the dark robed man raises his hand. Her hands reach up to clutch her neck, as her body is slowly lifted off the floor.

'Let her go, Anakin!' The bearded man shouts, taking further steps towards the couple.

'Anakin...' I wander out loud. 'Anakin!' I cry out loud in realisation.

I turn to face the couple once more. The woman is begging for her life, her feet raised above the ground, struggling to break free from the grip. Her face grows paler.

Without thinking, I run towards the couple, in an attempt to help her.

'STOP,' I yell. 'STOP!'

Anakin's face shoots towards me. His eyes meet mine, his hand still outstretched. Everything else around us is frozen. I can see the outline of my figure in the reflection of his eyes, which glistens in a fiery orange glow in the volcanic backdrop. It's as though he can see into my soul.

The feeling of falling hits me. I shoot up in my place.