Part 1 <What if?>

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- What is it, Serkan? Please answer...- Eda's eyes was full of tears and her voice broke at every word.

Serkan was standing in front of her and he couldn't believe his eyes that his secret was realeved. The news which he still couldn't believe in himself and the truth, which was painful for him to accept as a fact, reached his most precious person today. He didn't want Eda to find out about it that way, or rather, he didn't want her to know about it at all. Serkan was going to live his time with Eda as best he could and give her all the happiness and joy he had taken from her so many times in the past. He knew that his unexpected death would have shocked everyone, especially his beloved Eda, and it would have hurt her even more than was true as long as he was alive but Serkan didn't want to see her sad about him, the man who was the main cause of her sadness since the day they met.
Serkan's eyes were also full of tears, he looked at Eda, but couldn't utter a single word.

- Serkan ... even if it's true ... please tell me. You can't keep quiet like that, please!- Eda came even closer.

- Yes, it is true. - Serkan said quietly, not lifting his eyes from the ground.

- How..how is that possible? I can't believe. No, that can't be true.- Eda dropped the picture of the tumor on the ground and hugged Serkan's face.- No, that's not true. You aren't sick. Here's the error. You're fine, Serkan. Really.

Serkan still couldn't lift his eyes and, looking away, removed Eda's hands from his face.

- No, Eda, that's true. I'm sick. I'm sorry I didn't tell you that. But I couldn't see your sad face again. I couldn't tell you that by looking into your beautiful eyes, which must smile. I have saddened you many times before and I certainly wouldn't have done it again. Sorry, Eda. I know I will never be the person you deserve. I always hurt you, you always feel bad for me, I always call you in trouble..and now I'll leave you ... You deserve more ... I'm sorry I can't give you all that.

Eda stood before him and couldn't believe what she had heard. It was her Serkan who blamed himself for everything. Her Serkan was now standing in front of her with his head down, speaking in a trembling voice, and tears rolled down his cheeks. Her Serkan from whom she always drew strength.

- Serkan, stop it. You aren't blame for anything. You don't have to apologize. You are the cause of my joy, you understand?

- No, Eda, no. It may seem so to you, but it isn't. You have turned my life into color  but I'm only filling you with black. You don't deserve it.

- Don't talk nonsense, Serkan.Look into my eyes.

Serkan didn't raise his head.

- Serkan ... Please.- Eda uttered his name and slowly raised his head.

- You are my happiness, joy, the cause of a smile and that pain, that sadness you are talking about ... You are my everything. If you aren't near me, then I will be sad, then there will be no more colors in my life. But just not when you are near me.

They both cried standing in front of each other and looked into each other's eyes.

- But ... I'll leave you, I won't be in your life. - Serkan said in trembling voice. His eyes were red and he could no longer control his tears.

- You will! You must be. Here is the error. There must be a mistake here, you aren't  sick, you know.

- I'm sick, Eda. All this is true. And nothing can be changed ...

- No, don't say that.- Eda said in tears and hugged Serkan's face even harder.- Okay, even if that's true. We will find a way. We will find the best doctors, we will go to another part of the world if  it's necessary. But we will do our best to make you recover. Please just say you will be with me.
- I can't ..- Serkan's voice broke, he fell to the ground because he could no longer control his pain, looking at the most precious human for him, whose heart broke again today and the reason was again him.

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