I Told The Stars About You

Bingo Night!

-Blair-

3 months later. 

"Blair, you have a whole life ahead of you... forget about me, I'm fine here." the ghostly voice of Matilda said.

"I'll stay with you here as long as I need to, I promise, I will always be by your side. I don't care." Blair held her hand as she sat besides her, Matilda laying on her hospital bed.

"You are the sun. You light up everything around me." said Blair.

Matilda just stayed quiet, looking at her gently. "You are my everything, one day I'll marry you, yeah? We'll have kids together, and have little birthday parties, and little movie nights..."

Matilda held her gaze.

"And we'll be happy! You will get better! You are so strong I know you can do this!" Blair's eyes had glitter all over.

"I love you..." she whispered. But Matilda said nothing, Blair kissed her fingers one by one, looking up at her she saw Matilda deadly pale, so pale her veins could be seen, dark circles around her eyes.

"Mati?" she murmured "Mati!?"

A thin line of sound rang through her ears, Blair shaked her and begged for her to do or say something. It was useless.

"Mati! Matilda! Baby!?"

Blair woke up sweating, her phone ringing on her bed, she was so tired last night that she forgot to connect and charge her phone.

"Shit." she yawned, slapping the bed as she sheepishly grabbed her phone to answer.

"What?"

"Where the hell are you?! You have class in 5 minutes!"

The voice of Cleo said.

"Oh, right. My bad I... overslept."

Blair said with a sigh.

"Do you want me to ask Ayan to pick you up?"

"No, it's fine. I'll just take a cab."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'll... I'll be there."

She hung up. Wiping her eyes and yawning, she stood up and took a big stretch, taking her time to get ready. Matilda's death had really affected her, she felt like a failure, she failed her promise. She just wanted to get a new chance to be able to try again, feel her again, love her again.

It had been about four weeks since Dalton's mom died. Three months and four weeks since Matilda died, three months since her funeral.

And still, Blair hurted. She tried to get her mind off things by hooking up with random girls, but that just ended up in her questioning her life. She tried smoking weed to forget, she just saw Matilda all over.

Now Blair just wanted to move on. Everyone seemed to be moving on well, Dalton was in a relationship, Ayan was in a good place, Cleo's time here was going great too. It was like she was the only one stuck in a large bottle of wine, like she was a small mouse trying to get out.

And the bottle only kept getting deeper and deeper, and liquid filled it slowly.

Like she was drowning in her own emotions, how fucking exhausting. She knew Matilda was long gone. That she wouldn't come back, she had accepted it. But the rest of the long grieving trip was still enrolled for her to walk through.