Dear Winston | The Outsiders

1:2

I watched Sabrina tie up the laces on her knee high heeled boots. She was wearing a red skin tight dress and her makeup was done all nicely same with her hair. She looked like me when I would go on dates with Dallas.

I took some pride in having Sabrina as my sister, she's a god damn beautiful Beast. She prepped her hair a little more and grabbed a cigarette. I looked away as soon as I saw the thing.

I wanted weed. I craved that sweet high that would fill my lungs and make my eyes go dark. The feeling of all the stinging mess of the world just disappear with a puff of that stuff. I wanted it. I wanted it so bad. But I don't want to relapse, it's been a week since I last took any drugs, since I last had the feeling of Dallas inside me. God I missed that guy, he'd help me.

I looked back at Sabrina, she had grabbed her purse and was just about to leave the apartment. "Be back before ten," I said jokingly. Sabrina gave me a malicious smile.

"I'll be back when I want to be. Ok sweets. Now get this place tidied" she spoke. I ignored her request and kicked around some glass bottles that lined the floor. I looked back towards the door as Sabrina shut it.

How come she never did drugs? I had them around all the time until a few months after Dallas had quit. She never took them once. Why? It wasn't like they were hidden away. In fact they were quite open and easily accessible. She just never wanted them, I guess.

She's someone who will risk anything for what she wants, she'll try anything. And I'm surprised that she never took drugs. She's risked a lot and she's never once hit a joint or snorted a line. Maybe she did it behind my back.

I picked up some of the bottles and swished them around to see if anything was left in them. When there was something in them I'd pour it into my mouth, then scrunch my face at the foul taste of old, warm beer. I'd toss the bottles across the room into the sink and hear the noise of shattering.

The sound of shattering glass gave me a sense of peace, happiness, in a way pleasure. It gave me a warm feeling that surged through my body like electricity and energized me. If you ever needed me to stay awake and get energized, just shatter some glass.

I'd be killed by the guy who rents us this place. He hates messes, but Sabrina and I are the messiest people you'd ever meet.

Our lives aren't organized but we know where everything is.

I organized the bathroom and searched through Sabrina's makeup. She always had stuff that I wanted and I'd end up using it. I found a few condoms, not exactly what i was expecting, but what was i expecting from Sabrina?

A little note sat underneath all her eyeliners (she has a raging addiction it seems) the note was very simple and not well written

" Meet at my place on saturday at 6pm ;) "

I stared at the note, I felt like I recognized the writing but to be honest, it could be old or anyone who wrote it. I don't think that looking into it is gonna do me any good. I crumpled up the note and tossed it in the little trash can underneath the bathroom sink.

Sabrina hooks up with a lot more people than I do. She finds it more interesting than a real relationship.

Whereas I love relationships but I fuck up every time.