Dear Winston | The Outsiders

1:7

I woke up with brand new stitches sewn into my stomach, laying in that awful metallic and dental office smelling hospital. Sabrina at my side, cursing under her breath. I was told that I'll be in the hospital for a while so i can't rip my stitches and then I'll be in my bed for longer with daily doctor check ups.

Good Fuck. I hate this.

I missed Dally, I wanted Dally to visit me. Seeing his sharp beautiful jawline and his eyes that stared deeply into my soul, his beautiful lips which i would just die to kiss them again. The way he talks to me like I'm his everything. I miss him.

"dally" i mumbled, Sabrinas head shot up as she stared at my body. "I want my dallas"

"Well, he ain't here. But you are, I thought I lost you" Sabrina said, her voice sounding so sincere and worryful.

"I wish you did lose me. I'm in pain" I cackled, soon grabbing my abdomen as pain surged through my body. Sabrina smirked and went back to playing with her thumbs.

She always played with her thumbs, I noticed that. It was always about the thumbs, when she was nervous she'd play with her thumbs, when she was angry she'd play with her thumbs to calm down, so on. I always wondered why, why I never played with my thumbs. What was the reason?

I sighed and rolled onto my side. It hurt but I needed some movement, the nurse saw that and rolled me right back onto my back, she scolded me. I didn't care. I wanted to move, to be free.

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Bed rest sucked just as bad, but I got to roll around like a little child for hours, so thats what i did. I found joy in rolling side to side on my bed. I felt liberated, not really, but more than being in a dinky hospital bed.

I shoved the blankets off me and rolled myself down so my head was at the bottom of the bed. I reached down off the side and pulled out a huge bin from under the bed frame. The bin was filled with books, ones that I never read. but there was one, and I did read it, it was all about lovers and how each relationship worked.

There were multiple different people with different relationships, different goals and different Issues, each one of them needing to find ways to solve their problems and living a nice life. There was one couple that reminded me of Dallas and I, always on and off, fighting often, but then loving each other the next day.

The book always gave me a sense of relatability and a sense of wanting more. Wanting new. I loved it, I loved every bit of the book, I read it over and over and over and I'll continue doing so.

If I asked dally to try something new in our relationship, a bit of change. Maybe he would accept it. Maybe he would enjoy it too.