Black Hole

"So Happy Together"

Peter was no one's number one.

He had easily uncovered that admittedly heart-wrenching sentiment early on in his life; that he was no one's number one person. The person that came before anyone or anything else.

He obviously wasn't his father's number one. He assumed that place was filled by the Muggle he ran off with. Or maybe not, anymore. Who knew?

He wasn't his mum's number one, that was very clear. Ever since he was old enough to comprehend the things around him, he knew that his mother and sister loved each other so much that they barely had any left for him.

He wasn't his number one's number one. 

James. James had been his number one since that first day, when he saw Peter standing alone and confused on the platform and grabbed his arm and told him he looked quite lonely, didn't he? And wouldn't he like to have a friend?

No, he wasn't James' number one. That spot had always been Sirius'.

He wasn't Sirius' number one. That spot had been Lyra-Jade's since the day she was born. He understood, of course. And Lyra-Jade's number one was Sirius, obviously, or Regulus. Perhaps both of her brothers were her number ones'.

He wasn't Remus' number one. That was Lyra-Jade. How unfair that Lyra-Jade was not just one person's number one, but two? Maybe even three, counting Regulus.

Ever since that first year of schooling at Hogwarts, it had always been the two pairs, and then him. Sirius and James, Remus and Lyra-Jade, then him, always the fifth wheel of sorts.

The others had always emphasized that they were all best friends, but he knew.

It wasn't exactly envy that he felt. Nor was he angry or sad about the predicament. He was used to it by then, not being number one on anyone's list of favorite people. He supposed he was lucky to be on anyone's list in the first place.

He'd always been a very perceptive boy. He was seen as quiet and shy, but he truly wasn't that sheepish or introverted at all, just observant. He saw details that other people didn't.

Like, in second year, when everyone came home from Winter holiday and he was the only one that seemed to notice the marks on Sirius' back when he hurriedly came out of the showers.

Or in third year, when James was so clearly devastated about not making the Quidditch team, and all the others fell for his fake grins and nonchalance. But Peter saw the underlining ruin in his friend's grin.

Or in fourth year, when he was the only one to notice that he never really saw Lyra-Jade eat, and that she was growing thinner as the months went by. But when he questioned Sirius about it, he hadn't a clue what he was talking about, insisting that his sister obviously ate, and that she was just skinny.

Or in fifth year, when he would see the glances that Lyra-Jade and Remus shot one another when they thought no one was looking.

Actually, he had noticed pretty early on that his two friends fancied one another.

James and Sirius didn't seem too.

He always kept his observations to himself, though, and maybe he shouldn't have. Maybe he should've questioned Sirius about his marks, or comforted the secretly distraught James, or urged Lyra-Jade to eat, or assured Remus and her that it was okay if they loved each other (really, were James and Sirius that oblivious?).

But he was always scared he would be seen as too watchful, too pushy, too anxious. So he didn't say anything. 

He just watched.