"My Sweet Lord"

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March, 1981

"There's a spy." He told them.

James ran a hand through his hair and Lily held Harry closer to her chest. They stood in the kitchen of their new house in Godric's Hollow.

"How are you so sure?" Lily asked.

"I've suspected for some time now. How else did they know of the McKinnon's location? How else would they constantly know where we are staking out?"

"Well," James said, his voice barely above a whisper. "Who do you reckon it is?"

"I have my suspicions. James, Lily, I think it's time we've found a secret keeper."

***

April, 1981

The switch had been his idea. Pete, no one would suspect. Him, James best mate, everyone would.

Pete and him had walked home together later that night, Sirius offering to let him stay on their couch instead of apparating home so late.

"Pads?" He asked, a funny look on his face and his voice higher than it already was.

"Yeah?"

"The spy...do you think it could be Moony?"

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks and grabbed Peter's arm. "How could you say that Wormtail?"

His face went red. "Well, he's always gone! No one knows where he goes, know one knows who he sees or what he does!"

"He's our best friend, Pete. He's Thia's dad. He's LJ's boyfriend. He couldn't-"

"But we don't know what those wolves are feeding him, Sirius."

Sirius thought for a moment, slowly releasing his grip from Peter's arm. He continued walking, Peter trailing behind him.

"You know I love Moony like my brother, Padfoot." Peter said after a while of silence. "But, war makes people do crazy things..."

Sirius said nothing, but later stayed awake all night, tossing and turning, wondering if a traitor was in the room across from his in bed with his little sister.

***

May, 1981

It was one of the few times were Lily left Godric's Hollow. She sat, sipping tea with Remus and Peter in the Black's and Lupin's small flat. James was at home with Harry and Lyra-Jade was at St. Mungos. 

Her god-daughter was asleep in her lap, every so often giggling in her slumber. 

The were talking about the war. Every conversation was about the war those days. 

"It's just horrible, what happen the the Davey's. Mary's terrified, properly now. Say's she's going to move to America."

"She should." Remus said.

They were silent for a moment, the three friends sipping their tea and smiling at the baby girl when she let out a giggle.

Oh, she wished she could dream like Forsythia. All she saw behind her eyes when she slept was death and gore and someone taking away her Harry. 

"Guys," Peter spoke up, his voice small, "Do you think there's really a spy."

"Don't see how there couldn't be."

Remus nodded in agreement. 

"Well...who do you think it is."

"No clue."

"Dunno."

Peter tugged on his collar. "Do you...do you guys think it could be Sirius?"

"Sirius?" Lily yelped. "Of course not, Peter. How could you say that?"

"It's just...his family-"

"His family is also LJ's family, Peter. You think Lyra-Jade would be a spy too?" She scoffed, looking to Remus, expecting a blow out from him. "Right, Re?"

He said nothing.

"Are you serious? You think your girlfriend could've killed Marlene? Could've targeted my son, her godson?"

"I don't think LJ had done anything."

"Oh, but you think Sirius has?" She looked from Remus to Peter, both with guilty, doleful looks on their faces, "You two are insane. Do you really think I would let my child be around someone I thought wanted him dead?"

She stood, suddenly, waking up the child in her arms. Handing Forsythia to Remus, she grabbed her bag and left the room.

***

Early August, 1981

Remus left the flat, slamming the door on his way out. Another day of war, another fight amongst the confused, scared, and overly-suspicious family of four. 

A cry sounded at the slam of the door. Lyra-Jade wiped at her red, wet face and walked into the nursery, picking up her wailing daughter and bringing her back into the living room where her brother sat, siping on a dark drink. 

It was quiet as Lyra-Jade swayed back and forth, shushing Forsythia. 

Then,

"I still see him." 

"What?" He questioned, his head snapping to where she stood, "Still see who?"

She smiled at the small girl in her arms, swaying back and forth on her feet, long skirt swooshing rhythmically. "I still see our baby brother. I still feel his touch, hear his piano notes." She met Sirius' eyes. "He's like a star to me. Stars, even when they are gone, long gone, are still seen. You can see dead stars for millions and millions of years even after they die. That's like Reggie. Gone, but still twinkling in my line of sight. Will be for millions and millions of forevers."

"Like a star." He slurred. His eyes stung.

She caressed Forsythia's rosy, plump cheek. "A star."

Sirius sat looking at his sister for awhile, smiling at her daughter and swaying to a silent song, bare feet dancing on the cold hard wood floors. 

Dead. Dead, but still here. Like a star.

After a moment, Forsythia's small whimpers ceased, her eye-lids slowly shutting.

***

"I wish to believe in immortality - I wish to live with you forever."

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