Vale Mea ... with all my heart

crossed paths

[Trigger warning: Fire, sadness, emotions, regrets, weapons, blood, mentioning of wounds, death, killing, religion, cursing]

- This is a short part in Vulpes pov-

I turned around to make sure no one followed me. It's been already a 'few' days since I was there. A heavy feeling crawling up my chest, my head full of thoughts. Ceasar was still in a terrible mood after I 'announced' the couriers death. Him being mad, yelling and throwing things through the tent wasn't even the terrible part. No. Hiding all the upcoming emotions, that was the challenge, acting like it didn't matter to me. 

"God damnit!" I hissed to myself, trying to get rid of all the flashbacks. There is no night or day without seeing those pictures in my mind, the beg in her eyes, the last words and her lifeless body. 

I looked up. A campfire...Someone must be there...

I got closer, every step careful, ready to defend myself at any time as I suddenly saw someone sitting there, holding a pistol. My heart stopped for a second.

 Is this-?

"It's been a while..." words left my lips, the voice calm but cold as always, while my heart was so fast that I could hear my own blood running through my veins. It really was him, Joshua Graham, the burned man, feared by Lord Caesar.

"You are the last one I expected to be around here..." he answered, his voice that once guided me, deep like it was when we first met. I came closer, step by step.

"I could say the same actually but that isn't necessary..." I sighed.

Joshua put his weapon away, his eyes that were once brown not leaving me.

"You have grown Vulpes." he said like a father that reunites with his long lost son after years.

"And you are still alive Graham..." I replied, my eyes holding onto the fire between us. Emotions coming up again as I tried to push them away.

"Joshua..." he mumbled.

I looked up, confused, irritated.

"Call me by my first name, we are not in Legion territory nor am I your trainer or something like that."

I was surprised by that statement, fair enough, he was right. A sigh left me again, I felt like saying something but I didn't. Starting a discussion right here? No, not near the courier, even when he was some kind of an enemy. A wonderful betrayal... and why? Because I broke the rules and followed my heart for once. My eyes then wandered around as I realized the flowers that covered the couriers body. Without being aware, words left my tongue:

"They killed her with no mercy and I did nothing but watched" a wave of regret and sadness overwhelming me.

"Not even the lord himself did anything against this sin. That must mean destiny wished to let it happen." he answered. I could sense a difference in his voice. It didn't sound so distant, more like that he felt something similar. I didn't reply, my eyes still on the pale skin resting between flowers before they went back to the fire. I couldn't help it and let out a deep sigh, trying to get rid of those feelings inside my aching chest. I wish I could let it all out but that would reveal my weakness.

"Who did that?" my voice breaking the silence, fire crackling, my hand rising and pointing at the corpse that seemed to be peacefully asleep.

"Follows-Chalk..." Graham answered, his eyes falling on her hand, holding a Broc-Flower. Her favorite.

"He is good in bringing the beauty out of the cruelty, always sees the best in the worst." his voice was calm, what gave me some sort of comfort. I still didn't say anything, just looked at the bandaged man in front of me. 

"Don't be mad at him, Follows-Chalk wanted to honor her. The courier helped many people, saved souls... They didn't had to beg or ask... So I think it's the right way to guide her way to heaven with flowers."

Joshua was right, it was more than fair. In his eyes the courier deserved so much better, a happy life with someone by her side.

"At least someone did..." I mumbled to myself.

A small cloud of dirt and dust danced next to the crackling fire as I stood up and walked towards the casket made of flowers. I leaned over, looking at her beauty, words leaving my lips:

"Mea somnium tecum..." a slight smile came across my face "Paemitet me... You deserved better amica mea..." wind was stroking my hair and clothes as if she wanted to show me that she is right here. I took a deep breath, my smile fading as I turned around.

"I should go for now, I hope you don't mind, seeing me around here sometimes..."

"Feel free to come here as often as you wish to."

"Thank you ... Joshua..." 

As I left, I looked back one last time. The darkness surrounding me, pulling me in as if I was a part of it. That was the last time I saw him or the courier for the next days...

-

-

It was another hot day in the Mojave. I was tired and exhausted. While the others lived their life, I spent most of the time thinking, while following orders. My mind went back to the night where I had met Joshua after all this time. His tolerance towards me still leaves me in confusion. There were so many reasons to point a gun at my head and pull the trigger but nothing like that had happened.

"Vulpes..!" a deep voice bringing me back to reality. I frightened a bit and looked at one of my men. -Bastard- was everything that went through my mind in that moment. He was there when the courier found her death. I recognized his lips moving, words leaving his mouth but I didn't listen. 

I was to busy to think of an terrible way to end his life.