Cassie

II

"Hey, this is Katie Moore sorry I can't take your call right now-" 

I slammed the phone down on the glass table when I heard my mother's voice mail play for the 15th time. I rubbed my eyes harshly with the heels of my hands. 

"No answer? Micah asked gently. 

I shook my head, biting the inside of my cheek. 

"Cassie-" 

"Don't say it." I cut my therapist off sharply, squeezing my eyes shut. 

Micah sighed and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. "Cassie, I think you need to go with him." 

"I need to talk to my Mom first." 

"Cass, it's been an hour," He looked at me with pity filled eyes that made my chest swim with panic and frustration. If Micah was pitying me, then I could only conclude that I was in some deep shit. "She isn't going to answer." 

I shook my head again, rubbing a hand up and down my face. "I need to talk to her. I won't go with him until I do." I jabbed a thumb at the door behind me, where Beck and Jamie were sitting, waiting for me to get the confirmation I was looking for from my mother. The man, who was still claiming to be my brother, had been surprisingly patient with my lack of faith that what he was telling me was true. 

Even after I saw birth certificates and a positive DNA test between him and Jamie, I still couldn't bring myself to fully commit to the idea that he was not only my brother, but also my legal guardian. This all was just so shocking, so out of the blue and so undoubtedly scary. Not Mom losing custody. That part was the least shocking of all. A pre-teen suicide attempt is usually enough ground for CPS to investigate, and it was no surprise that they deemed the way we lived 'unacceptable'. I couldn't even imagine what kind of hell our home had gone into without me there. I was the one who cleaned up the mess in our house. Literal, and figurative. And when I was gone, there was no way the fragile foundation I'd created years earlier would withstand the pressure my departure must have caused. 

"Cassie, you've seen proof that Beck is your brother. We've talked about what happened to your mom and why you're not going back there. I understand the need to talk to your Mom but for right now, I think you should go with Beck." Micah's words made sense. I agreed with what he was saying. I should go with Beck. The smart, rational side of me agreed with what Micah was saying. 

But it's never the rational side that gets the final say. The emotional side of me has always been my downfall. Mom used to say I felt too much and thought too little. I always hated that she was right. 

"I know I should Mic. I know I should." I muttered. I twisted the cord of my headphones around my finger again. The tip turned a pale purple and cold to the touch. I pressed my cold skin against one flushed cheek. 

"Then do it, Cass. Go with him." Micah urged with a thin lipped smile.

I found myself wondering how he felt about all of this. Micah hadn't known anything more than I did about all of this. He had made that plenty clear after I grilled him for half an hour about why I hadn't heard anything about my mother and my supposed brothers up until now. 

Micah told me that he doesn't handle the CPS aspect of the hospital and therefore wouldn't have known unless someone told him, which apparently no one did. I was inclined to doubt his innocence in all of this, but I was fairly confident that Micah wouldn't have kept something like his from me. I knew he was crap at hiding things.

"So are we all set then? Because I think Beck and Jamie are still waiting for you out there." He said, jabbing a thumb towards the lobby where I could see my brother and the other man watching something on the latters phone with small smiles. I fastened the cord around my finger even tighter and pressed the sharp corner of my Ipod into the palm of my hand. The lump in my throat suffocated me even more than it had earlier.