a little death (zach abels)

chapter ten - nothing

"oh shit," zach whispered, his hands dropping from my waist. he took three steps back, staring at my mother in total embarrassment. 

"i don't know much about you, but i sure as hell know who you are. i want you to get your punk ass out of my house right away, and don't even think about talking to my daughter ever again."

"mom, stop it," i cried, tears already streaming down my face. "look, i just wanted to see her again before the guys and i leave -" zach held his hands up. "leave?!" i turned to look at him. "leaving sounds like a great idea. get out," my mom pointed towards my bedroom door.

zach began to let himself out, but i grabbed onto his shirt. "zach, please," i said to his back. he jolted his way out of my hands, almost giving me a little shove, and walked away - without looking back.

"he would have left you anyways," my mom laughed. 

"get the hell out of my room."

her eyes widened. "excuse me?" i motioned towards the door zach just walked out of. "why would you do that to him? to me?! you've ruined me mom," i screamed. "i know what you did this weekend! how could you lie to me about that? why haven't you told me about him?" she yelled back.

not giving me a chance to even answer, my mom stormed out of my room. "you are to never see him again, you hear me? this is the end of whatever game you were playing," she said calmly, before disappearing into the hall.

i ran to my patio doors and pulled them open. i made it out just in time to catch one last glance at zach.

he stared at me, his eyes red and glossy with tears, before driving off for the last time.

--

"nicole!"

my mom's yell woke me up. being so completely exhausted from the argument i had with her, i decided to take a nap. it was dark outside, and it was raining.

i had tried to phone zach countless of times, yet he didn't answer once. i wanted to know what he meant by him and the guys leaving. i wanted to hear his voice again. i wanted to tell him how i felt.

"nicole, come here please!"

i threw the sheets off from over my head and checked my phone. it was 6:37 PM. i quickly deleted my recent call history with zach, removing exactly 58 outgoing calls. then, i reluctantly made my way downstairs to meet my mom, who sat at our dining room table.

"a little peace offering," she said, pushing a plate of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies in front of me as i sat down. "no thanks," i muttered, not having an appetite. she took a cookie and bit into it without hesitation. "your loss."

"what do you want, mom?" i asked, glaring at her. she cleared her throat. "some answers. where did he take you?"

i was hesitant to answer her questions, but i knew i had to. "some motel a few hours away," i said. "where are dad and jason?" i asked, hoping to change the topic. i decided to grab a cookie after all. "they went bowling. did you sleep in the same bed?"

i regretted biting into the cookie, because i was choking on it after hearing her question. "nicole," she said, raising her eyebrows. my phone started vibrating. my hand flew to my back pocket, hoping to see if it was zach, but my mom stopped me immediately. "don't you dare," she whispered. i wiggled my butt a bit and my phone stopped vibrating, thankfully, yet strangely.

"did you two sleep in the same bed or not?" my mom asked again. my face flushed as i nodded. "oh my gosh," she threw her face into her hands. "relax, mom - it was nothing, we did nothing," i said, rolling my eyes. 

"do you like him?" my mom asked. "no. i felt nothing because it was nothing," i said. "well then why did it happen?" she stared at me. "it just did, alright! we're nothing more than friends. let it go please. if you don't want me seeing him anymore, fine. but don't expect me to be happy with you because of this," i yelled, dismissing the conversation. 

--

i sat on my bed now, questioning why my mother was so anal about me falling in love.

i missed zach more than ever. i pulled my phone out of my back pocket, wanting to try to call him one more time. there were no notifications. "that's weird," i said to no one. "i thought i got a missed call earlier?" i unlocked my phone right away and went to my call history.

"incoming call from  'abels' - duration: 5:21"

"oh god, no."

i butt-answered zach's call when i was talking to my mom. "shit, shit, shit!" things couldn't possibly have gotten worse. zach literally heard me lying to my mom about how i felt about him. i called him right away, and he answered after just a few rings.

"zach -"

"i'm on my way to vegas. the guys and i booked a show in the cosmopolitan. just wanted to let you know." his words echoed in my ears.

what the hell?!

"i don't know when i'll be home. don't call me, nicole," zach said firmly, before hanging up.

i couldn't take it anymore. i pulled my duffel bag out from my closet. i had clothes in there already from mine and zach's trip. adding some more onto it, i packed up once more. i let the tears continuously stream down my cheeks as i walked out of my bedroom and made my way downstairs.

"i'm tired of you ruining my life," i yelled at my mom when i walked into the kitchen. "because of you zach hates me! you're so irrational, damn it. who cares if i'm with someone? god, i have no freedom. mom, i'm almost 18! i'm not your little girl anymore," i cried. she stared at me blankly.

"i love him, mom," i whispered. "and i don't care what you think."

it felt so great saying that i love zach out loud for the first time.

"i don't know when i'll be home. don't call me," i said, a lump forming in my throat as i repeated zach's words. "are you insane?! where are you going?" my mom said, following out of the kitchen. "to see my boyfriend," i answered.

and just like that, i was out the door and into the rain.. my mom ran after me, but eventually gave up and ran back inside. i pulled my hoodie on and clutched onto my duffel bag as i ran to the nearest bus stop.

--

i opened my eyes to see sunlight. the bus driver hovered over me. "we're here honey. i let you sleep for a while, but i'm gonna be boarding for LA again in a bit," she smiled.

my eyes burned. i felt embarrassed on how much i cried last night. everyone on the bus took turns staring at me, probably thinking i was an asylum escapee. little did they know, i was actually running away from my mom.

i stood up, grabbing my things, and made my way to the front of the bus. "thank you so much," i said to the kind woman who let me ride for free. probably out of pity, i thought.

"i work every week day. call me when you're ready to go home and i'll pick you up on my trip to LA for that day."

i couldn't thank the woman enough. i was so glad she let me off without any fees. i barely had enough money on me to suffice for a hotel room, and a few meals. 

i stepped off the bus and was instantly greeted by the warm nevada sun. it took me an hour to find the best route to the cosmopolitan, and actually get there.

i was standing by the concierge now, waiting to check in to my room. "here's your key. we have you registered as a minor, so our room service won't be allowed to deliver any alcoholic beverages, and your key won't let you in to any of our clubs or adult events. other than that, you have access to everything else," the woman smiled. she then leaned over the counter. "there are some 18 and over clubs i know you can sneak in to, just come down and see me if you're interested," she whispered, giving me a small wink. i laughed and took my key card. she straightened herself up and cleared her throat. 

"have a great stay here at the cosmopolitan. welcome to las vegas!"