Little nightmare x Reader

not a chapter

Ok yall.
I got a message from someone
Saying I should use music to express my emotions.
Cause I have to much trouble with explaining it-
So I will be taking songs i know,
And explain a bit about why I relate to it.
I might end up telling my entire life-

I lied to everyone in my life saying I was fine and I knew I was lying to myself too but I couldn't care less at the time.
I always felt like I couldn't say anything whenever I tried to admit my life situations and I always blamed myself for how I act but it was the people around me who turned me into the person I am.
I wished that people would see everything that happened but each time people saw my wounds and asked the only thing that would come out would be lies.
I started wishing that my family and fake friends would regret doing stuff to me without me telling them so I waited until I moved into Lilacs apartment.
Lilac practically saved me from the abuse but the thoughts and "monsters" stayed.
Lilac would always say I had a ghost in me but since I never believed it I would just think that it either didn't exist or it was to far out of my reach.
I also felt abandoned as i grew older.
I never cared when I harmed myself since I knew that I was already fucked up.
I had a broken heart after a toxic relationship and the worst thing is that I knew I was in a toxic relationship but I never wanted to leave.
I was always scared of myself and others thoughts.
I never recovered from my past wounds and I keep getting more.
I know self harm is wrong and I highly recommend to not do it though its a thing that has always been stronger than me.
I always told myself I was fine

The song pretty much explains everything.
The difference between the song and me is that I did try to hang myself though Lilac brought me back.
In the song the person is dead though I survived because of the only friend I had.
Lilac was pretty much pissed off after.

I used to listen to this for fun though I see that I have alot of stuff in common.
I always felt silent or mute.
I would attempt to cry the pain or whatever was inside out and it never worked.
I didn't understand the pain and Imma be honest-
I still dont understand why.
I never knew what brought these insecure and these painful thoughts.
The monsters in my mind never left and its something that tears me apart.
I listened to sad songs in hope to get all of them out but the only things that came out were tears.
No sound.
I never was able to make sounds whenever I cried.
Nobody seemed to care so I held the noises back and now I cannot make a sound when crying.

I really like this song I feel like I relate to it:

I am kinda like the village in the music.
I always saw my heart as "dying broken heart"
L

ilac would probably be the hero here.
I pushed her away many times.
     And she always wants to keep trying to help me.
   She says I'm not the one to blame and that I have a pure and loving heart.
She loves me a lot.
I can tell.
She gets pissed off whenever I cut.
She wants to strangle me after I attempt to hang myself(yep each time-)

ᎠᎾᎬᏕ ᎿᎻᎯᎿ ᎬᎲᏢᏝᎯᎨᏁ ᎿᎻᎬ ᏒᎬᎯᏕᎾᏁ ᎾᎰ ᎷᎽ ᎿᎨᏁᎽ ᏨᏒᏬᏕᎻ ᎾᏁ ᎻᎬᏒ?