DRAFTS

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐈𝐏𝐀𝐋'𝐒 𝐒𝐋𝐔𝐓 [𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐀𝐋]

Warnings : swearing, slight sexual content.

You've never been a good and nice girl, who behave and work hard. Your mom never complained about it because she's the only one with whom you don't act like that. When you're with her, the last thing you want to do is being mean or misbehaving. She's the only one. The only one who have this natural effect on you.

Everyone tried to change you and making you behave, respect and lower your head. But nobody. Nobody succeed. They all surrendered and more or less accepted your provoking attitude.
And you never questioned it or tried to change.

You grew up and passed grades without really working, had some friends and boyfriends, none remained in your heart. Always too superficial, childish or just not it.

Then, you moved from Lincoln to New York, leaving your mother in Nebraska.
You managed to find a job in a cafe to pay for your loft, college and obviously what to feed you.

As she is always busy and you hate talking, you don't call your mom often. Maybe 3 times a month when she's free after the work. You don't need more as long as you know she's fine. You love her and you don't need to call her everyday for her to know it. Same as her.

The summer ended and you entered Queensborough Community College where you questioned your attitude and tried to behave for once.

The teachers were pretty nice, girls less bitchy and boys more mature. Everyone was cool.
Everyone except the principal. He was stern and seemed wanting everyone to be submissive. Subject to him and his rules. Cold and dominant.
It awakened something deep inside you. A mix of desire and provocation. You ignored and hided it.

You tried to behave and stay calm. But because of him and this desire deep inside, something twitched in your mind and your real personality took advantage over you.

You started coming late to classes, provoking everyone and fight the not so not bitchy girls you thought they were.

Then the games started.

It reached Mr Gardner's ears, and after one week of being constantly sent to his office, it happened. [chapter I].

He gave you a lesson every time you played the bad feisty girl or misbehaved. He wanted to make you kneel in submission. He needed to make you kneel in submission. And for the first time, you obeyed. He was the only one who could make you.

It was wrong, but terribly addictive. Like drugs. He drove you crazy, playing with you like you were his own little toy. And you liked it. You loved it.

But then you realized it was wrong. liar.
Yes. You're the most unbothered, rules-breaking person.
But you kept thinking it was wrong. liar.
You lied to yourself and pushed him away, putting the blame on the "it's wrong" feeling, when the real and only reason was addiction. You're addicted to him and you can't control it. This is why you avoid him, thinking you will be able to control it. Control this desire to be used by him. Desire to be his toy, his slut.

But no. You tried. You failed. You tried again. You failed.
Every moment passed with him is a torture. Trying so hard not to give in and letting him do whatever he wants with you. To you.
And every time, you used the words "it's illegal, it's wrong" as an excuse.

You obeyed to your wise voice and pushed him away. 2 times. In the meeting room, and the plane w.c.

You obeyed to your feisty voice and provoked him. so many times that you can't enumerate.

You danced between your little angel and your little demon orders.

But this time, you won't obey to any voices.

You're tired to fight against it. You crave him, your whole body does. And even if it's wrong, uncontrollably addictive or a weak girl behavior, you don't give a fuck anymore.