Secret || Lee Heeseung

03| in wonder

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The weekend ended too quickly and I wasn't sure if I had done any homework. All I did was lay in bed and distract myself by watching kdramas'.

I wasn't too distracted though. Every time a kissing scene popped up, I would immediately turn off my computer the second I pictured Heeseung and me that day. It was weird. So weird that I knew I had to settle things with him so I could stop thinking about it.

But when Monday came, and I parked my car in the parking lot of the school, I saw him standing right in front of the entrance of the campus, yet I was too scared to even face him.

Is he waiting for me? I thought to myself after switching the engine off.

I reached over to the passenger seat, and grabbed my bag and my jacket. When I made sure that Heeseung hasn't noticed my arrival despite knowing how my car looked like, I quickly got out of the drivers seat, locked my car, and ran the opposite direction to the east-side of the campus.

If I was able to sneak past the rows of cars and through the field, I can enter the campus from the back side without being seen.

I stopped behind a blue sedan, covering my head with my jacket, and when I looked through the transparent window to see the entrance of the school, he was no longer there.

Where did he go? Did he leave?

I stayed there for another minute, just peering through the window, wondering where he had gone.

"Are you avoiding me?" Someone asked from behind, making me jump on my place in shock.

From the person's familiar voice, I knew it was him. Shit. I spun around quickly, and my eyes landed on his.

"No...no I'm not," I answered, feeling so awkward to be here, standing right in front of him. I definitely lied. I was avoiding him.

"Look we need—"

"No we don't. It's okay, we don't need to talk about it," I cut him off quickly. Of course we need to talk about it. I just told myself yesterday that I should settle things with him before it gets any more awkward between us. But for dump sake, the way he just stands there, looking at me in an enticing way, my heart hammered vigorously.

"I'm—"

"Oh my gosh! Nancy is that you?" I shrieked, cutting him off again. I ran towards a girl who had just got out of her car that I don't even know, but only know her name. I put an arm around her own, acting like I was happy to see her, but she looks at me with confusion displayed on her face. "Please, act like you know me," I whispered through gritted teeth.

She stares at me for another second, and I gave her a pleading look. Please just go along with it.

I watched as she averted her eyes on Heeseung and then back on me.

After a moment of realization, she gripped her arm around mine even tighter and beamed at me. "Oh it's you! Seoyeon!"

Oh thank God she knew my name too.

"It's almost time for class, let's go get breakfast together!" She said, and pulled me along with her. I glanced back at Heeseung, and he shoots me a look of betrayal. A part of me felt regretful because I knew that at some point we both can't avoid what happened. But that wasn't the only reason why I was avoiding him.

"You like him?" Nancy asked once we're inside the campus and out of ear-shot. How does she know? Was it too obvious?

She noticed the confused look on my face and let out a slight chuckle, which made me even more confused. "I can tell because of the way you were nervous back there."

"Wow so It was that obvious?" I sighed.

"Don't worry we aren't close but your secret is safe with me." She shoots me a playful wink.

I smirked and nudged her arm with my elbow in a playful manner. "Thanks."

After having a decent conversation with her, I said that I wasn't able to eat breakfast since I had to talk with Mr. Han. When I thanked her for helping me out, we both went our separate ways and I hurriedly walked to building F.

Mr. Han greeted me with a smile, when I entered through his classroom door. "Oh wow, look who's early." He said and continued writing today's lesson on the white board. "Thank you for moving all the books to building A last Friday. I did not expect that you would actually do it." He added.

A look of confusion displayed upon my face. "But I didn't—" I glanced at the back of the classroom and saw that both shelves were empty and all the boxes were gone too. It dawned up to me that Heeseung actually did all the work after I left him alone that day.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, noticing the troubled look on my face when he turned around to face me.

"Oh no. Nothing's wrong," I answered. Suddenly, the bell rang and students started to file into the classroom. Mr. Han gestured me to have a seat, so I walked over to my assigned table and settled on my chair.

I haven't paid much attention to Mr. Han during the entire class time, so I was missing out on today's lesson. Not that I cared. I wasn't a scholar anyways.

Drowning in my own thoughts again, my heart would flutter unexpectedly at the thought of Heeseung doing the troubled work. Did he actually carried all the boxes on his own? I asked myself constantly.

My eyes drifted away from the pencil I was playing around with in my hand and they gazed out the open window near me. I noticed the P.E class out on the open field playing a game of dodge ball, and realizing that Heeseung takes P.E early in the morning, my eyes searched everywhere for him.

Just at the end of the defense team, I spot him sitting on the grass, observing his own classmates.

I rested my chin in my cupped hand, settling my elbows on the table as my eyes focused on him. A warm feeling spread throughout my entire body. There is no way I'll be able to get rid of my feelings. Every time I try to push it away, just one look at his face brings it all back.

I needed time. If I'm able to avoid him for at least a few weeks, my feelings will eventually dissipate.

I just couldn't risk it.