A heavy silence hung over the group, your thoughts falling in and out of focus as you mourned the loss of Eddie. God, you hated that woman. You hated the clown. You hated Derry, hated the situation you had been forced into. Call you a coward, but your ideal summer wasn't supposed to be spent fighting a killer clown and fearing constantly for your own disappearance, or worse, death.
Your silent contemplation was interrupted by Bill, whose voice trembled slightly as he spoke. "I-I saw the well. We know where it is." You faced him, eyes scrutinizing and lip quivering. "And next time we'll be better prepared."
"No!" Stanley said, prompting you to look at him in worry, the strain in his voice speaking volumes. "No next time, Bill! You...You're insane!"
"Why? We all know no one else is going to do anything," Beverly argued. You looked over at her, eyes tired and fearful at her rashness.
"Eddie was nearly killed! And look at this mother fucker!" Richie returned, pointing a finger towards Ben. "He's leaking Hamburger Helper!"
"We can't just pretend it's gonna go away. Ben you said it yourself, It comes back every 27 years." The copper-headed girl held a desperate expression as she pleaded with the group. You averted your eyes in guilt. Truth be told, you didn't want to go back into that house, ever. You just wanted all of this to be over. So be it if a few more kids go missing, you needed to stay alive. You needed to keep Richie alive, and Stanley and...and everyone else too.
"Fine! I'll be forty and far away from here!" Ben spoke what you were all thinking.
"I thought you said you wanted to get out of this town," you said, voice barely audible as you tried to appeal to the pertinacious girl.
Beverly faced to address you, eyes holding a slight sorrow. "Because I want to run towards something. Not away."
The group was suspended in a heavy silence at her words until your brothers voice rang out, piercing the quiet. "I'm sorry, who invited Molly Ringwald into the group?" Beverly stuck up her middle finger at the bespectacled boy.
"Richie, come on.." You started, concerned about the impact of his comment.
"Not you too!" He accused, looking towards you. "I'm just saying, let's face facts. Real world." His eyes caught onto Bill's. "Georgie is dead. Stop trying to get us killed too!"
"G-Georgie's not dead," Bill responded, voice quaking with an obvious mix of anger and desolation. You watched the interaction carefully, feeling the rising tension between the two boys. You felt yourself subconsciously move closer to Stanley, who was standing to the left of you. He stayed silent.
"You couldn't save him, but you can still save yourself." Richie's words were burning, the truth behind them only serving to further ignite Bill's recklessness.
"No, take it back," he said, seething. "You're scared, and we all are, but take it back!" With that, he lunged towards Richie, outstretching a fist and punching him straight in the eye.
"Bill!" You called, running forward out of instinct. Richie dove towards the taller boy, aiming to land a hit on him before you and Stanley grasped onto his arms, pulling him back as Ben and Mike did the same to Bill.
"You're just a bunch of losers!" Richie yelled as he struggled against your hold, enraged and desperate.
"Richie, stop!" Beverly's voice came.
"No, you're just a bunch of losers and you'll get yourself killed trying to catch a stupid fucking clown!" He said, breaking from your grip as he finished.
"Stop!" Beverly stepped in front of him before he could advance any further towards Bill, outstretching a defiant hand as she did so. "This is what it wants. It wants to divide us. We were all together when we hurt It. That's why we're still alive!"
"Yeah? And I plan to keep it that way." Richie retreated from the group, brushing against your shoulder as he did so, a subtle motion for you to follow after him. You looked at Beverly in guilt, backing away with an air of mortified cowardice. You weren't strong enough for this, and you knew it. You weren't even strong enough to stand up to your father, or people at school, or anyone. You just wanted to go home. Not to your own house, but to somewhere safe. Somewhere warm, somewhere with no clown and no bullies and no smashed bottles or screaming or anything innocuous. You just wanted to feel alright, for once in your life.
You turned your back to the group, silently walking towards your bike. You felt the quiet presence of Stanley behind you, who was followed by Ben. You grabbed your bike, gripping onto the handlebars and looking on with a feeling of self-reproach as Mike walked away from the group, leaving only Ben and Beverly in his wake.
"Mike.." Beverly began.
"I'm sorry. I can't do this. My grandad was right." He took a moment before hopping onto his bike, twisting the grips between his calloused fingers before speaking once more. "I'm an outsider. Gotta stay that way." Mike pushed against the concrete, throwing a cautionary glance towards Neibolt as he rode away, Ben and Stanley soon following after. Richie rode away, keeping his chin raised as he faded further down the street.
You were the last to go, tucking your head to your chest and looking down in utter shame as you pedaled away from Bill and Beverly, your heart heavy and mind a blur. It was for the best, you told yourself, although you couldn't get the hopeless face of Beverly to leave your mind as you rode down the street, gaze too guilty and sorrowful to focus on anything other than the passing pavement of the sidewalks.
You guessed that this was it. A part of you cringed with disdain for yourself at the way you had abandoned the situation so quickly, at the way which you chose to leave an unjust situation that you knew you might be able to do something about.
But what difference could you really have anyways, right? What could you, a weak-willed, spineless girl do against a clown?
What could any of you do? Nothing, that's what.
Absolutely fucking nothing.
Word count - 1122
hi baes how are we doing? it's almost finals week for me and I have five finals! go crazy ig. so i probably won't update for a couple of weeks to a month. until then, stay safe and healthy, eat a good amount, and don't forget to take meds and drink a good amount of water okay thats all lovelies
xx, ur actual mom
YOU ARE READING
inevitable - stanley uris x reader
FanfictionAs the sister to Derry's very own trashmouth, you were guaranteed a spot in the infamous losers club. Unlike your brother, you were generally reserved, but when you got close to someone, or if someone hurt you or someone you loved, you would not h...
