Perilous

Chapter 40 - For Some Reason

The atmosphere was glowing golden behind the large white clouds surrounding the baby blue colored sky. Laughter and cheers, along with music filled the streets as the annual Thanksgiving parade continued through New York City.

It was a celebration that would soon turn into smoke and ash.

But before it did, something happened.

"Song, how come we have to watch the parade from all the way up here?" Taehyung asked as the two sat on top of a building, watching the parade from a slight higher view.

"I tend to enjoy things from far away," Song sat down next to him on the ledge of the building. "It's too loud all the way down there."

Taehyung noticed Song was holding two drinks, and without making eye contact, handed one over to him. "Thank you."

Despite having sat up high for the view of the parade, they found themselves looking elsewhere. Taehyung stared toward the sky, while Song stared down at his drink. The wind was enough to keep it from going silent.

"Plum, I've been thinking," Song twirled his straw around his slushee drink. Taehyung lowered his head. "It's about you and...that mentor."

"I don't want to talk about him," Taehyung immediately dismissed the conversation. "I don't...I can't love him anymore," he corrected himself. "I don't even know who he is."

"But he brings you the trauma I promised to help take away," Song continued nevertheless, earning an annoyed glare from Taehyung.

"I need a friend, not a therapist, Song. I can handle this situation on my own—"

"Can you?" Song asked, making Taehyung frown angrily. "I'm asking, can you really?" he repeats quieter this time.

"...what is that supposed to mean?" Taehyung asked slowly. "Do you think I'm not strong enough?"

"Let's not kid ourselves, you're capable of anything, Taehyung. But the more I learn of you and your abilities, the more I've realized they rely on your mental and emotional state," Song explained. "I'm afraid that...that if this man affected you so horribly that you almost murder him—-you'll do something worse."

"What are you trying to say?" Taehyung asked with a small sniffle, still finding it hard to believe that something inside of him almost...almost killed Yonghwan. "Please tell me."

"I'm saying you should forget about him, and about everything he's put you through," Song put his glass to the side ever so gently, before taking Taehyung's emptied hands. "The sooner you forget, the sooner you'll focus on me...on getting better."

Taehyung stared down at their hands, what if Song was right? Maybe he hadn't fully realized it through all the screaming and crying from the night before...but what if whatever was growing inside of him, was because he hasn't let go?

"Had I not shown up...you would've drowned him, Taehyung..." Song stared into his eyes finally, reflecting his frown. "Ex or not, he's still a person. You almost killed a person."

"That would make me a villain...wouldn't it?" Taehyung asked, tears filling his eyes. "It'd make me just as bad as the rest of 'em..."

"It's not you; the trauma," Song corrected. "Inside you."

Turning away, Taehyung dabbed gently at the corners of his eyelids.

"You're not the only person in the entire world who has trauma, everyone does...as far as I know," Song added. "I do; my family does."

Taehyung didn't respond at first, not until he could finally get his thoughts together. "Do you and...your brother have a good relationship?"

"Not quite," Song stared down at his fingers. "It's too complicated to put into words. It's one of those things you have to be there to see to really understand. But to keep it short...he doesn't respect me."