My world II Vmin

I don't know anymore

    
Who knows how long I've been locked away in here. It could easily be days or weeks, hell even months. Maybe I'm being dramatic. Every time I ask it's the same response, "Not long enough." And a kiss planted on my cheek. At least now I'm allowed to explore around the room that resembles a studio apartment rather than someone's bedroom. Me being in here all day serves as my punishment for touching his things when I wasn't supposed to. Honestly I'm not sure if I prefer this or the physical torture from before. Here I can feel myself slipping away. I don't feel like me anymore, but who was I back then? V was right, I was broken then and I'm broken now. Difference is after I got away from my ex I was finally enabled freedom. At least that's what I thought. Now that it's on my mind, I couldn't have had true freedom. No because every night I've had the pleasure of reliving those horrific memories. My mind is still chained to him. Whether I like it or not the trauma is still imprinted in me, a mental footprint from him that I can never truly get rid of. The problem is I never got help. I was so eager to leave him that nothing else mattered. At first I didn't realize that what we had was wrong, that our relationship was toxic. I was 16 when we first started dating, he was 21 that was the first red flag. He took my virginity from me without my consent yet I stayed. Stayed because my parents kicked me out and he let me live with him. Why was I so stupid? And you would think that I've learned my lesson, no cause here I am. In a worse situation. More pain, more loneliness, more trauma. I'm so lonely, it actually makes me sick. Disgusting, how I can feel the urge and yearning for affection. The craving for someone, just someone to care. Longing for the touch of another human. I need to feel alive again, to make sure I'm not dreaming.
"Ahhhh!" A sharp pain shot through my bad leg, earning a shrill scream from me. V peered down at me with a twisted grin, and wicked eyes.  "Why did you do that?!" I howl in pain, tears prickling my waterline. V, who had bent my bad leg in an unnatural way, only chuckled wholeheartedly before answering. "Had to make sure you were still alive." He tells me, caressing my leg gently as if that'll make me feel better.  "You could easily check my pulse. That was so unnecessary." I scoff, wiping my eyes.  "I'm sorry doll." He gently apologizes and I believed him, mumbling "It's ok." He placed his large hands on my cheeks, squeezing them until my lips were pouty. He planted a kiss on them making me giggle. For a second it almost felt domestic...almost. From an outward perspective we probably looked like a cute couple. But just the thought of that makes me laugh.  "What're you thinking about?" V inquires, snapping my attention back to him.  "Nothing." I answer, voice mouse like.  "I don't know," He presses, moving closer to me. "I saw the gears turning behind your eyes." "Why does it matter?" I say with more bite than I should've let out. V's eyes widen, though an unsettling smile soon lands on his lips. "Bold now aren't we. Haven't given you a proper punishment and you act out. We don't have to start from the beginning do we?" Frantically I shake my head wanting nothing to do with those times. "Exactly."

Usually dinner time was the best time to get answers to my everlasting bank of questions. I guess good food is the key to loosening the man who seems so locked away. "No interrogation today doll?" V muses with a smile. "I-I do, but you probably won't want to answer them." These particular questions have been infesting my mind for some time now, I just never had the gut to ask them. "What if I do answer? All you have to do is ask." His eyes bore into mine, awaiting my answer. I shiver under the intensity his dark orbs held, it's honestly terrifying. "Why- why am I here? And why do you do this?" I ask timidly, rushing my words not knowing what to expect. "That's all?" He chuckles, breaking the silence. "Let's just say you're an easy target, that's why you're here." With an answer like that, I was left baffled. What does he mean by that? "It's a long story, why I'm doing this. Maybe I'll tell you one day... if you even last that long." He laughed seeing how my expression fell grim at his words. He's laughing like I told the funniest joke but nothing about his words were funny. They put me on edge, who knows what he plans to do with me. No matter how "comfortable" I get here, I have to remind myself what this really is. Though there is something in me that wants to last long, whatever that means, enough to know the beginning of V.