Atomic: Rebooted

39. Growing Pains

MIRA

"Heads up!"

Too late, a punching bag hit me in the face. Down I went, onto the mats.

"Ow."

"I'm sorry, I must've knocked the screws loose again," Ryder apologized as he helped me back to my feet. "You okay?"

"Yeah." I wanted to get back to practicing moves on my dummy.

"Maybe we should spar," Ryder suggested.

"Not right now." I didn't want to put more energy into maintaining the facade that I'd forgotten Verity, that I didn't miss her.

"You know, working with dummies only can only get you so far." Ryder stepped closer. "You need to learn reactions, how to think quick—"

"I said not now!"

My shouts echoed in the large gym space, and both Aleister and Sage stopped their workouts to look at me and Ryder.

I looked to the punching bag on the ground as a blush rose into my cheeks.

"Fine." I could barely hear my own voice. "Let's get this over with."

"Look, if something's wrong—"

"Nothing's wrong!" It was an awful lying attempt, and I knew it. "Come on, you wanted to spar so bad— come at me!"

He reluctantly dropped into a fighting stance.

"Come at me!" I taunted angrily. "Fight me, Ryder!"

He winced as he lunged. I darted out of the way and grabbed his wrist, executing a move that I'd rarely gotten to use.

He fell to the ground, against the mats, and let out a grunt, before getting back on his feet.

"You're not thinking straight," he warned.

"Well, too bad, the battle continues on even if everything's wrong!" As he tried for a punch again, I dropped to the ground, delivering my favorite of a spinning kick.

"Ow!"

"Get back up!" Anger was building in my body. It threatened to overtake me in its energy.

Ryder looked up at me, and wiped his nose.

It was bleeding.

My anger deflated. "Oh my God, Ryder, I'm sorry—"

We'd hurt each other worse in training before.

But this time felt different.

Aleister just glared at me as Sage healed Ryder.

Ryder refused to look at me.

Yet all of the emotions kept coming. Fear, anger, sorrow— all of it too much.

How was I supposed to deal with that?

There was a knock at the threshold between the training room and main corridor. We all swiveled our heads to see Dr. Banning standing there.

She took a moment to push her round copper-colored glasses up her nose.

"Can I see Mira in my office for a moment?"

The others averted their eyes, returning to helping Ryder. I felt numb as I forced myself forward, to join Dr. Banning.

The inside of her office was a complete contrast to the rest of the Atomic Energy compound. With pale yellow walls and an artificial window that showed a rainy afternoon in a Regency-era garden, and all of the small lamps tucked on shelves and tables, it felt like a home.