* thoughts of you *

on the run

you were quickly stopped by a rather large guard, he stuck his hand out on your shoulder and placed his other menacingly  on his holster. Although the guard was twice his size Zemo's angrily told him to let you go.

"who are they" the guard asked not taking his eyes of yours, you straighten your back and stared right back into his own eyes, your stubbornness refusing to let you lose, you were damned if your first mission in a long time was about to fail right now, you opened your mouth about to give a sarcastic remark when you were stopped by Zemo

"their with me" he huffed at the guard, Sam and Bucky turned and nodded in agreement, the guard looked back at them and Zemo grabbed your hand and pulled you after him. One by one the four of you walked down the long corridor pathed with no ends of illegal substance messily thrown about the place, it reminded you of your apartment, other than the illegal part of course. You looked nervously behind you at Sam and he gave you a quick wink and a nod seemingly tell you that everything would be alright. Zemo still had a tight hold of your hand as he dragged you like a fish on a line to a sofa in a centre of a brightly lit room. Zemo gently let go of your hand and you slipped down onto the plush cushion below. You looked around anxiously, you had previously felt rather confident in this mission but now you were surrounded by a diverse jungle of firearms each more destructive than the last, each being held by someone one that looked twice your size and muscle power and there in the centre sat a calm lady, shelby you assumed.

Your breath caught in you chest and you felt a small panic set in the back of your brain, if you messed this up it was over for all of you, it had been so long, your eyes began to search for a quick way out. Shelby eyed you suspiciously before diverting her attention to Zemo and Bucky, you could not for the life do you understand what they were saying your own thoughts were to loud and drowned out the sound around you. Your breathing sped up as though someone violently smashed the acceleration pedal in your lungs. Your panic worsened when you saw a couple guards notice you and lightly play their hands around the trigger of their weapons. Suddenly the cushion next to you sunk down and Zemo was next to you. He reached for you hand and placed it between both of his, it felt weird for you but you felt comfort at this action and you stared slowly trying to calm yourself down with deep breaths in and out, in and out, in and out.

But then Sams phone went off. It was all down hill from there, your cover was blown, Shelby was shot and now you were running for your life one the gun ridden streets of madripoor. great. Your then ran straight into the hooded figure you saw in the bar.

"y/n?" she said as she took of her hood, you stared at her in disbelief. She then looked over at Sam, Zemo and Bucky. "well this is too perfect, drop it zemo!" he did as she asked and bent down to gently place the gun in the floor as to not accidentally cause it to go off.

"sharon?" Bucky asked in pure astonishment

"you cost me everything" sharon claimed steadily walking forward gun still pointed at the four of you her eyes locked on Zemo as she quickly kicked the gun out of reach

Sam took this moment to step forward to try and explain things "sharon wait, someone re-created the super soldier serum, and Zemo had a lead" he rushed through the story trying to prevent further escalation.

"well that explains why your here, and shelbys dead" she answered.

"so what are you doing here" bucky asked

"i stole steve's shield remeber?" i also took the wings for you ass, so you could save his ass from his ass and unlike you i didn't have the avengers to back me up. so, im of the grid in madripoor"

"hey don't blow that smile at me i was on the run too" sam added

"was is, big difference" sharon returned at him "why is y/n here" she added quickly.

"didn't want them blowing their own heads off i suppose" you said to sharon smiling at your old friend. Sharon proceeded to explain her situation to you all, you felt a pang if guilt that you hadn't offered to help her, not like you had any power to do much, you just felt like you could have tried at least. Sharon then took you to her house in high town so that the four of you could lay low while you figure out what to do with the information you gained from shelby. As you entered her stylish living room she pulled you to the side and embraced you into a huge hug.

"i heard about Nat, i am so sorry for you loss" she apologised to you, your heart sunk deep into your stomach, the rising action had distracted you from the insufferable solitude you felt after the loss of Nat. Your emotions started to twist and turn all about the place and you were unable to make a single clear thought as millions raced by in milliseconds, your eyes brimmed with tears and cheeks grew pale as though you were truly sick. Sharon noticed and led you towards the sofa and let you sit down. You stared at the ground not listening to a single word from any of your friends, it felt like white noise in comparison to the overbearing memories in your mind.

Then it went silent. You looked up at the room around you and saw Zemo sitting across the room, he stood up, grabbed and glass of water and made his way towards you. Quietly sitting down he handed you the water, "drink, it won't cure you, but you'll feel better" you glanced at him shocked at his compassion and then took a slow sip of the water.

"i know better than anyone what your going though drahoušek" he added he lightly placed his arm around you half expecting you to reject him but you felt warmed by his presence "don't let it consume you" your eyebrows furrowed confused on why he would tell you not to do something that he did a couple years back causing the avengers to turn on each other, subsequently landing Sharon to be on the run in madripoor. " i know, contradicting, right?" Zemo smirked at your confusion pulling you closer. Out of no where you rested your head onto his chest and closed your eyes "thank you" you simply stated to him, you were truly thankful for him, this was the first time you had felt warm since you lost Nat.

"you need a distraction" Zemo replied as you got up from his chest " come downstairs to the party and i'll get you a drink. on me." you smiled at him.

"damn right your paying for my drink barron"