Rain on me

chapter 3

No sleep as I expected you can go now...you want to stay?Okay suit your self.But your not here to listen about how I don't get sleep anymore your here to know about my life,so listen up.

Okay two months in care and now what?More change?Uuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggggh!!!!Adoption that's what,I thought I said I didn't want to be adopted but okay.A middle aged couple had been thinking about adopting for some time and had apparently taken an interest in me.Yay?Don't get me wrong when I met them they seemed really nice but they lived even further away from my home town.So it would more or less goodbye Charlie,that thought made me angry.Also goodbye Tina and Tyler and everything else i'd known while in care,but it would mean getting away from all the reminders and other things that made me angry including Guin.Everyday it was something else if she wasn't commenting on something that wasn't to her liking she was making me more angry than i'd every been or thought possible.I was 'forced' to spend time with these people-the Bickerstaff's they were called,one thought that constantly ran through my mind was-would I have to change my name?Amelia Bickerstaff?That would be crossing the line.But beside that I was optimistic.They went on as if I had said yes to them adopting me granted not many 11yr olds would say otherwise but I was unsure about it.

The care workers said I should go for it,that not many had the chance to be adopted so soon but I didn't care what they said.I decided to call Charlie because she would have something to say on the subject.She answered almost straight away,I let her ramble about things like how she felt sorry for me having my birthday in care.Yeah I forgot to mention I turned 11 while in care,not much happened,Tina and Tyler said happy birthday but that was only to acknowledge that they knew it was my birthday.After some time I just decided to cut her off and get to the point of why I was calling.

She said she was happy and sad.She said I should go for it,that I might not get another opportunity like it and she promised to keep in touch but I would only believe that when I saw it.Also knowing about this...yeah you guessed right-Tina and Tyler.They said they would try and keep in touch,Key word try,Tina joked.Obviously referring to when they weren't snooping into others lives which was almost never.

I remember when the care workers asked me the question-do you want to go through with this?I froze, I thought I would be able to simply answer but was I really about to give up another life?The rain.It was raining, great that would help.I slowly walked over to the window and suddenly became entranced by the rain.It wasn't until Tyler who'd apparently been watching came over and picked me up.It was something she'd began doing and i've never known why but none the less it shook me out of my trance.Hugging me before she went back to where ever she'd been hiding obviously still watching.

Things were never the same after that day,I never knew that a single word could have such an impact on life.Now in case you were wondering,yes.Yes I moved in with the Bickerstaff's and thankfully didn't have to change my name.I called Charlie the day I moved in just to let her know I was okay as she was worrying about me.Well that's Charlie,I miss her...what,oh sorry I get easily distracted when it comes to my past.

So anyway what I found out was I had to go to yet another new school.Dave,my foster dad,got a new job soon after I moved in so he was away a lot,so..what was your intention in adopting me?Just to ignore me?But I digress,Jane,my foster mum,tried to be close to me and I knew she would only suffocate me with worry if I told her about the whole no emotion thing so I didn't bother to try and tell her.She was nice but maybe just a little to overprotective.No one chose to talk to me or even say hi to me in my school.Just like when I was in care everyone just stared at me,which I was used to.People still stare at me now but I can understand that,people always stare at the homeless.I still don't understand why I was stared at before though.DISTRACTIONS,AGAIN!I really need to do something about that...well at least i'm not talking to myself.

Now where was I,oh yes,now I remember.I never heard from Tina and Tyler again,well not it that state of existence anyway.I wasn't surprised though I didn't expect to stay in touch.As for Charlie we always made it a point to talk on Friday nights every week.But as months went on we started to drift,again.Only I didn't see her in town one day like before so that was it.Well kinda,sort of,not really.Anyway Amelia just get on with it.Sorry.

Life was better and worse.It was better in the fact that...wait why was it better,I don't remember...i'm sure there was something that's the main thing right?It was worse in the fact that I lost my best friend and the only friends I had in my previous existence and that I always felt like Jane and Dave were trying to replace my actual parents...what were names?I...don't...remember...

I lived with them till I was almost twelve so about a year,just under.What happened you ask.Well the more I thought about all the change and replacing and all that stuff it just made me more and more angry.I remember screaming at Jane one night,screaming that I hated her,life and that I just wanted to die.I only stopped because I heard the rain,showing up just at the right time,I locked myself in my room and let the sound of the rain comfort me and calm me down and eventually send me to sleep.I knew I worried them so out of the small amount of kindness I knew I had...I left and was reported missing two days later.

Where did I go?Home,well not exactly but more or less.I hung around the neighbourhood I had been living in the past year before heading home.That's how I knew I was reported missing.Now obviously by being reported missing I couldn't exactly take the bus now,could I?Now before going on with this the reason I haven't mentioned much about day-to-day life with my foster family is because there was nothing for me to mention apart from what I already have,it was pretty boring(just like life with my grandparents).Also the letters from my grandparents had stopped by the time I moved in with the Bickerstaff's and I didn't even know if my grandmother was still alive.

Now traveling in foot was not easy but it prepared me for the life I live now if you care to call it life which I don't.I hung around the neighbourhood sleeping in the park,alleys that sort of thing,it taught me that you have to make the best of what you have.But I kinda already knew that.I didn't want to disappoint the Bickerstaff's by saying I wanted to go back into care so that's another reason why I just left.I watched Charlie come and go to school,followed her around town,you know just to make sure she was okay.I'm pretty sure that it was care that pushed me to do that,I never let her see me.I kept the hood of my hoodie over my eyes and ignored my hair and the rest of my appearance.Well I almost never let her see me,after a few months I had a feeling that she thought she was being followed.I remember the day Charlie saw me she looked terrified,she screamed and ran.I don't blame her,then again i'm not even sure if she knew it was me,probably not.

I never followed her again,I didn't want to scare her again.That was the last time I ever saw Charlie,she disappeared out of my life completely and it was all my fault.So yeah,that's how Charlie left my existence completely.By this time I was thirteen having my birthday on the streets.I still had one option-my other home.

Traveling there seemed easier than my journey to my actual hometown,i'm not sure why,maybe it was because I knew where I was going.But I digress,after close yet careful surveillance I found out that Tina and Tyler didn't live in care anymore,but where did they live.At that point in time I wouldn't find out but on a better note I did see Guin crying one time,that's something...i'm sorry that's not interesting to you at all is it?

(A/N):Sorry I find this chapter to be a bit all over the place,but you may not.Anyway don't forget that the pictures of the girls and such are on my photobucket account,there is a link on my profile.