Madness Combat x Reader [Oneshots]

Jesus x Reader [Headcanons]

a character waited for so long...
you ask, i may deliver.

enjoy! dont show your religious friends/parents/anyone this I will get sued 😭

✝~✝~✝ 🌟 ✝~✝~✝

- HOW IS HE SO SMART. This man knows all the tricks in your book. You cannot get him with deez nuts jokes, its like he can read your fucking mind.

- He will occasionally let himself fall for one of your puns/jokes/deez NUTS. To be honest, he finds you being proud of yourself rather adorable.

- He doesn't smile, and if he does, its only a small smile around you. Laugh? Nah, he just chickles for a second then goes back to being oh so scary.

- He probably gives you piggy back rides, even if you don't ask for them. Hell give you them. Even if hes out murdering grunts, he still has you on his shoulders. Sometimes you may get blood on you, which makes you just "😂😂😐"

- He will teach you how to protect yourself, he'll teach you how to shoot a gun. Stab with a knife? Yup, he'll teach you my guy.

- Is very laid back, but is aggressive as well. If someone tries to flirt with you, he'll be so passive aggressive it'll just make you drag him outside.

- doesn't get jealous apparently, gets pissed that other people exist!

- Gives you pocket knifes, small guns and stuff to protect yourself when you aren't with him. You try to say you don't need this stuff, but he gives you a stare. He stares into your soul and you just go "on second thought, yeah thank you."

- He likes  cats, sometimes when you go out to find him. You just see him, feeding the stray cats. When you confront him he refuses to say he fed them and what not. You both now feed the cats c:

- Pretty much emotionless fucktard. You're probably the energetic dumbass. Sorry not sorry c:

- You try to make him show emotion, though the best he can do is just smile at you.

- he gives you forehead kisses at least, isnt that nice? Nothing else. I know what you GUYS ARE UP TO BAD NO-

✝~✝~✝ 🌟 ✝~✝~✝

i cannot write jesus
Fuck

guys what if i wrote hcs of how they meet your parents 😏