How To Train Your Hoglin - SBI cursed techno AU

Chapter One : "Nether run."

HEY! Does anyone know Casserole's wattpad if they have one? I'm making this story for them mainly, and I generally think this is a great au so I kinda want them to see this. Happy reading my friend :]

TW:  swearing, fighting, (getting knocked out?), Injury.

"Phiiiiilllll," Technoblade complained, "Where did all our gold go?" He grumbled. A man, now identified as Phil, furrowed his eyebrows and called out.
"What do you mean? We had stacks of it last time I checked, Techno." He shouted so that Techno could hear him. The piglin hybrid climbed out of the basement, holding in his hands four measly ingots of gold.

"Tommy wasn't here again, was he?" Technoblade half-joked. The gold ingots materialized into his inventory and he walked over to Phil. The bird hybrid ruffled his wings.
"No, mate. He wasn't. I don't know where our gold went, but we can always get more," Phil said, looking as if he was readying himself to go to the Nether already.

Techno frowned. The voices were getting nervous. Why? He didn't know. But Techno knew better than to ignore them, so he shook his head at Philza.
"No, you stay here. I can get the gold, and you can keep breeding the wolves."
Phil looked hesitant, but nodded.

After Phil left to tend to the wolves, Technoblade geared up for the Nether. He made a list in his head.
-  Netherite armor, check.
- torches, check.
- food, check.
- tools, check.

I think that's everything. Chat?

          E                 
                         yes
                                               That's all
    E                   gear pog
       
              Yessss                                   Nether time losers

Very helpful, chat, he thought, sighing. He called the voices in his head "chat", because that was really all they ever did. He was used to it, though.

He left the house and was immediately hit in the face by a blast of cold wind.
The Nether is gonna feel good after this, he thought. Techno trudged through the snow and traveled to the nether portal. Bracing himself, he stepped inside.

Techno didn't think anyone could get over the nauseating feeling of traveling between dimensions, but he held up pretty well. The Nether's hot, dry air and dark hell-like conditions were usually enough to hurry anyone on their way, but to Techhnoblade, it reminded him of home.

Techno sighed in annoyance. DreamSMP's nether was so taken over by paths and griefed to the point where you couldn't walk on the netherrack floor wherever a player had touched. That meant that Techno would have to travel hundreds, maybe even thousands of blocks before he found any new land in the nether with fresh resources to take back to his home in the tundra biome.

( timeskip brought to you by the time it is right now - 12:38 am )

"Finally. Untouched land." Techno said. He had traveled almost 800 blocks to find resource-rich land. He could already see gold veins lining the walls and ceiling of the nether where he stood. A netherite pickaxe materialized into his hand. It was time to get mining.

He mined for hours, making his way through the nether and collecting more than three stacks of gold nuggets. He hadn't realized how far he had gone until a a dark square-like structure caught his eye in the distance. He looked up from mining and raised his eyebrows.
"A bastion? I wonder if it's been raided yet...if it hasnt, then I could get way more gold there than mining it here by hand." He said aloud. Chat seemed to agree.

                Yes man                    bastion pog
                                                        
                                   E                               Getting stacked tonight
Go go go go go-                  technoRich

Technoblade chuckled.
"Alright then. Bastion it is."

Quickly crafting a pair of golden boots, Technoblade made his way to the wall of the bastion. It was the kind of bastion that had rows of lava in between two main buildings. The coolest, in techno's opinion. There was no apparent door or entry way when he looked so techno just mined his way in. He kept his eyes open for piglin brutes, those things scared even him. They had potions not even the strongest or most advanced player had ever heard of.

With his golden swagger Gucci slides, the piglins only eyed him suspiciously every once in a while. He knew a trick though. When he was opening a chest, he blocked himself in a box of wood so that he wouldn't be seen. After doing this in the first building, he started on his way to the second, but crossed paths with a brute right when he was about to climb his way down the wall that led to the rows of lava. Great.

The thing was huge. Nearly twice techno's size. Technoblade looked for potions on its belt, and spotted two reddish-brown substances in bottles. He got into a defensive stance, standing on the edge of the wall with his back facing the bubbling lava pools below him.
"Get back!" He shouted. It snorted and grabbed a golden axe from it's belt. Techno did the same, his netherite axe materializing into his hand.

"Fine," he growled. "I guess we can do this the hard way." He tightened his grip on his axe and swung towards the brute, but the thing blocked his blow with the handle of it's own axe.

 (like three minutes later bc I'm bad at writing fight scenes sorry)

Shit. Shitshitshitshitshit this thing is good, that was all Techno could think as he swung and blocked blow after blow, slowly backing up closer to the drop.

HOW IS THIS THING BEATING ME?
The brute finally swung it's axe over it's head, breaking Techno's axe handle, and used the curve of it's weapon to hurl Technoblade over the wall.

Techno's ears rung. He could faintly hear chat as he gained consciousness again.

             TECHNOHURT
   
Techno?                                            Technohurt
         
                      Uh oh             guys let's scream at him to wake him up
  
          AAAaaaaAAaaA--

Techno groaned. He must have gotten knocked out for a few seconds. He had fallen with a bone-jarring thud onto one of the bridges that kept the lava from spilling out from the grid. His legs hurt. Quite a lot, actually. That wasn't worrying at all. . .

     Uh oh               TECHNO LOOK

          UP           NOT GOOD        
      LOOK UP

Technoblade listened to chat, looking up to where he had just fallen from. The piglin brute was quickly making its way down to the lava grid where Techno was still sitting. Technoblade hated backing out of a fight, but he also knew when he lost.

I need to get out of here before that thing kills me. Or worse. Techno got to his feet. Or, at least, he tried to. As soon as he tried to stand up a horrible pain shot up both his legs and he fell to his knees again, hissing in pain.
I guess that's why chat was saying "technohurt", he thought, gritting his teeth. He looked back at the brute, who was now on the lava grid and stomping closer to him. As a sort of last case scenario option, Techno scrambled to pull out his half broken sheild, bringing it over himself and waiting for the brute to land a hit on him. But it never came.

Techno hesitated. Why wasn't the brute attacking him? He lowered his sheild slowly to try and see what it was doing. Bad mistake. The brute was waiting for him to do that, and when he did, it raised it's arm, and Techno could see it had the reddish-brown potion in it's hand. The brute smashed the potion down onto Techno, and that was the last thing he could remember before he blacked out again.