《WHAT THE HELL?!》[Shimizu Kiyoko x reader]

10. LIGHTS

"BEFORE I GO TO SLEEP, I TEND TO HEAR VOICES IN MY HEAD."

"(Y/n), can you put out the washing?" your mother called out, from the living room.

From you position on the floor, in your room, you scowled, and mumbled to yourself, "I don't know, can I?"

"Please?" your mum added with a sigh. "Most of it's yours anyway."

With a groan, you sat up, and scratched your head, further messing up your hair — then, you reluctantly stood up, and ambled over to the bathroom, where the washing machine was. "It's the weekend, and I still have to work," you complained.

"We all have to," your mother replied, as you walked into the living room with the washing in a huge basket.

"You're on Twitter!" you exclaimed, pointing at her accusingly. "How the fuck is that working?!"

"I'm arguing with racists," your mum answered, giving you a small grin.

You paused, before shrugging, "Aight, fair enough."

"You know..." your mum said slowly, "you've been talking a lot about this Kiyoko girl. Anything going on between you two?"

You choked on the nonexistent dick in your mouth, and whipped around to her, dropping the wet pillow case in your hands in the process; "S-She's just a friend!" you spluttered defensively.

"Friend my ass," your mother snorted, placing her phone in, and giving you a sly smirk. "You really wanna make out with her, don't you?"

"Mum!" you screeched, "I do not!"

"You're a liar," she proclaimed, and you slumped over in defeat.

"Fine," you muttered, picking up the item you'd dropped beforehand, "I do like Kiyoko, a lot. But she only sees me as a friend."

"And you know this how?" your mother asked, folding her arms.

"Because!" you snapped, "She's beyond having romantic feelings for other people! The only person worthy of her affections is herself!"

"Umm..." your mum trailed off, watching you as you miserably placed the washing on the rack. "(Y/n), I'm sure she's a very beautiful girl, but that doesn't mean she's not human, like the rest of you."

"No, Mum, she's a goddess," you corrected, shaking your head. "And honestly, I'm surprised I'm friends with her."

Your mum rested her head in her hand, and peered at you curiously. "I do wonder if you really are ok living with us," she mumbled.

"Huh?" you turned to her, in confusion, "Of course I am," you denied, "there's no way in hell I'm going back to the orphanage."

"I know," your mother sighed, leaning back against the sofa, "I'm just overthinking again. I want you to be happy here."

You were silent for a moment, before fiddling with the corner of the shirt you were holding. "I'm 17, Mum," you muttered, "I let go of the possibility of ever finding my real parents years ago."

□

Your mum was right, you were a liar. Contrary to what you'd said beforehand, you were still hung up over the reality that you didn't know who your family was; your earliest memories consisted of the children's home you lived in, before you were finally adopted. No information was ever revealed to you regarding your biological mother and father.

The only thing you were told was that you'd been an accidental pregnancy, and had turned up at the door of the orphanage about a week after you were born.

Sounded like some dramatic book, one which would lead to you eventually finding your real family.

Yeah, no, the truth was a little more underwhelming. Of course, you were always plagued by the notion you'd never find out where you really came from, but you didn't try pursuing any goal involving them. You were too afraid of disappointment, of rejection.

Abandonment issues? Oh, absolutely, but that didn't mean you still weren't a perfectly functioning human being, although a tad mentally unstable.

In fact, you found yourself thinking about all of this to distract yourself from the fact that you were sitting right next to Kiyoko, during lunch.

And she was so close you thought you might commit a toaster-in-the-bathtub.

"Nice... clouds, huh?" you coughed out, staring up at the sky.

"Hmm?" Kiyoko looked upwards, and smiled a little. "Yes, I suppose so."

"Err... you wear tights a lot," you commented awkwardly, picking at your fingernails.

"Ah," she blinked, becoming thoughtful, "yes, I only really wear them out of habit. I used to do track running, but I tended to run into the hurdles a lot, so I'd get scars on my legs. I was a bit self conscious of them, so I tended to cover them up by wearing leggings."

You stared at her in awe, lips parting slightly. "You're... really cool, Kiyoko," you mumbled, "that must've been hard on you."

"Yes, and I was very upset when I had to stop very suddenly, because of an injury," she admitted. "But now I have a new goal, and that is to help the volleyball team as much as possible."

A gust of wind blew past, causing her blue locks to flutter slightly, and her dark eyes sparkled under her beautifully shaped eyelashes, from shining sun above, despite the light reflecting off her glasses. Her pink lips were drawn upwards; she looked so gorgeous.

But, on a side note, you found it stunning how she'd managed to commit to something like that, and also move on from her past passions, although they'd been stopped so abruptly.

You looked away, fiddling with the collar of your shirt, and attempting to form coherent words. "T-That's nice," you spluttered, running a hand through your hair, trying to seem attractive.

Kiyoko glanced back to you, to find you in your rather stiff position. At first, she was confused, but then she smiled gently, and placed a hand on your shoulder. When you gave her a questioning look, all she did was close her eyes, then lay her head on your shoulder.

You almost jumped out of your skin, taking in a sharp breath, as her hair tickled your cheek.

"You're so sweet," she whispered.

All you could do was let out a strained hum as a response, heating up like a volcano.

Maybe — just maybe, you did have a shot with her.