《WHAT THE HELL?!》[Shimizu Kiyoko x reader]

11. PERFECT ISN'T EASY

"DARLING, I DON'T DO THIS FOR MY VANITY, I DO IT FOR HUMANITY."

"Hey..." you started awkwardly, waving in a strained fashion. "Umm... I really, really, really, really like you... uh... wanna... go get some... chicken nuggets with me sometime?"

Your mum, who sat across from you, with a pair of pink sunglasses, took a sip from her reusable coffee cup, and said dully in response, "No."

"Mum!" you groaned, slumping over in your seat, "You're not making this any easier!"

"Look, if you wanna ask the girl out, you're gonna need to have some words prepared," your mother accused you, prodding your forehead. "So come on, turn on your charming."

"I do not have any charming part of me! The best I can do are anime related pick up lines I found on reddit!" you wailed, prodding her shoulder in retaliation.

"Ugh!" your mum fell back dramatic; "What kind of child have I raised?!"

"A dumb one," you responded, with some finger guns.

"Don't say that like you're proud of it!" your mother objected, from her position on the floor. "Damn... if you're not going to get a girlfriend, then go do something else. Step your pussy up, honey! Get job! Own a business bitch, suck a di—"

"All right, mother, you've said enough!" you cut her off, with a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Let's go from the top one more time then."

"Yay!" she sat up instantly, a huge grin on her face. "And remember, eye contact is everything!"

"Ew."

□

Caw Caw Bitch

You:
Uh
Yall
Where are the advertisements for jobs at in town

Daichi:
Town square I think
Outside the job application office

Sugawara:
You thinking of applying ?

You:
Yea I've gotta get money from somewhere
My mum's stopped finding my anime merch sprees so if I want that new android that's gonna come out in a month I better work bitch

Tanaka:
Hmmm ok

You:
I really don't wanna be a slave to capitalism tho

Asahi:
Do any of us?

Kageyama:
If I'm not a volleyball player I don't know what I'll be
I can't imagine myself as anything other than that

Tsukishima:
Probably something that doesn't require a lot of intelligence.

Kageyama:
SHUT UP TSUKISHIMA