The Untold Creeps

#4: Ordination

Ordination
@wasted_tea

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

—

My life is full of sin. I'm a wanderer who knows nothing. I almost gave up in life searching for the light, for I never had a religion to hang onto.

I decided to flight to Thailand, not in the city of Bangkok but in the country side where usual baptism and ordination still practiced by most Buddhist.

I looked at the GPS as I held my bag's strap with my left hand. After one rode of bus, I finally made it to my destination which is Bang Khen— hidden place where soul purification and other religious practices usually took place. Everywhere were trees and the road almost swallowed by nature in a primitive, rural are.

People, or shall I say monks in their half hanged orange marmalade clothing welcomed me solemnly. They never had a smile on their faces, which I found ironic when we describe ‘Thailand’.

I stayed at a small apartment with an open window near at the bungalo house where the old monk's rest house.

It wasn't easy every night to hear different voices and rustling sounds encircling my room. Sometimes, a vague figure waving from outside of the window. These are the normal sceneries— perhaps just my hallucination, as what Prankhan said.

Prankhan is the youngest amongst them. A teenage monk.

Aside from other monks, this old monk named Prayarma never curved his smile towards me. He maybe tough giving me the book of mantras to be recited this 13th of Friday.

My first week went good. From shaving my head too, and wearing the same set of orange pallette clothing called kassaya or angsa.

Later this evening, is my mantras' recital. most texts were written in Sanskrit and must pronounced accordingly. Good thing I've romanized version of it.

We're heading to Mae Nak Phra Khanong temple, passing through these erected mini houses made up of woods and with so many talisman in it, built inside the woods with a distance of 10 meters in every walk
We bowed our head and pray in each mini houses we faced. While walking, everyone is reciting mantras with their palms pressed together or simple called ‘wai’.

An hour later, we arrived in a huge bungalo temple, very far from what I expected. From bricks wall, the wall is made up of wood. The darkness wiped out all visible scenery in the middle of nature sunk place as cricket sounded in every corner.

The old leader of the monk, Prayarma tapped my shoulder and stares at me for minute before he bid his goodluck meaningfully.

“Let your soul decide.” He pressed a red pulverized powder to my forehead. Unlike any other commencement, everyone isn't happy nor excited. They walked out with their lightened torch and left me all alone in the darkened temple. Good thing the full moon gleams tonight.

I walked towards the temple, feeling the cold breeze that envelopes my uncovered arms and nape. I sat on my legs and pressed my palms together. Before I could cite the opening mantras, I saw the old monk standing near.

“Don't let your soul.” He mouthed voicelessly, enough for me to understand.

My temple creased and confusingly paused from reciting. He said an ultimate opposite of what he just said a while ago.

I roam around and saw not a single trace of torch he left, I went back to his direction and in just a blink-of-an eye...  he vanished.

How's that possible?

I squeezed my eyes for I saw him clearly standing right beside the huge statue, that's when a horrific chill envelopes my whole system and hurriedly pressed my palms together and continued from reciting.

Second verse.

The cold wind blew intensively as I finished the first verse with my eyes scrunched. 

Slowly opening my eyes, a pair of dirty feet standing right in front of me slowly tilting my face to whom it may belong. To my surprise, I recognized the old monk smiling ear-to-ear. He looks terrible in his eyes widened with pure black pupils. My breathing shakes and gasp at the same time, I've no one to ask for help. The woods is too dark and there's no single trace of light torch— I couldn't grip a torch from the other side of him.

My tears and sweats fell as my body is shaking in my sitting position.  I closed my eyes and hear different sounds; a baby cry that terribly stirring inside my earlobe, a woman's scream for help... I was so scared.

Nobody can save me from these voices... The voices continued to stream inside my ear, and lastly my mother's voice that reminded me of; “Just let your soul,” she said angelically as she appears in front of me with her smile drawn without any speck of regret or anger. She cupped my face that made me sobs in so much regret.

“Just let your soul decide my son,” her voice softly faded as well as her figures taken by the wind.

I felt so emotional as the strong wind whipped in an open night darken space.

I cried my burden and determined to finish my recital with my tears free from falling.

“P’Jim! P’Jim!”

“Wake up!”

“P’Jim!”

The darkness has gone. The morning sun light completely registered in my sight as I was obliviously laid on my bed.

“How's my recital?” I cracked a question towards the youngest monk Prankhan who seated on my bed’s corner in a morning sunshine.

“You passed out less than a minute. And as we went back... we found you shaking as your lap against your chest— embracing your knees.”

How's that possible? I finished the mantras. I remember everything. Less than a minute? “Am I forgiven?” I asked him out of the blue.

“Yes you were,” the old monk interrupted, standing back the backdoor. Slowly giving me a soft, sincere and comforting smile for the first time.

He has the smile of hope. He went near and caressed my hair like I was the most cleansed, purified person in at this moment.

An emotion poke my system. It swallows my regret and gave me a breathe of relief.

I was the reason for my mother's death, the day I lend her the medicine that isn't responsible for curing. I impregnate a woman and decided to took her in an abortion. She died losing her sanity, while I enjoyed my teenage life.

With my eyes painfully tearing again and smiles bitterly plastered. I followed the light... my soul decided to repent for the unbearable sin that was haunting me years ago.

I followed the light... and I found myself... healing.

—
Ordination
PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME
@wasted_tea