A Broken Mind: Cherik

Five

"You see I usually find myself among strangers because I drift here and there trying to forget the sad things that happened to me."

Charles read that line over and over as he sat in his chair, bandages wrapped around his sprained wrist. After being assaulted by a stranger, he had stopped the tradition of field trips for the children out of concern for their safety, but also because he knew that anxious parents would be threatening lawsuits now for "recklessly endangering the children".

Whatever the hell he was supposed to be blamed for- what, not defending himself when he was being attacked? He was starting to lose his edge even more and of course it was rubbing off on Hank who was starting to grow more concerned for him as well.

"Professor?" a tentative voice asked from the doorway, obviously being fidgety since Charles's chair was stoically with its back to him while he continued to read. "Um... is this a bad time...?"

Charles remained silently staring at the same spot of the page before he snapped the book shut and turned his chair abruptly, an unreadable expression on his face. "What is it, Hank? I'm quite busy as you know and I would rather not be heckled with any more problems than I already have to address."

How could everything have fallen so far within the span of five months? Well, of course Charles knew the answer to that.

Erik.

If he hadn't been terrorizing the world with his ridiculous schemes then maybe- just maybe the rest of the mutants that had an ounce of self respect would have a chance at a normal life without being discriminated against... But no, that thickheaded man just had to "prove himself" or whatever he had been thinking. At least, Charles knew that he hadn't been thinking rationally...

"Look, I just think it's time for you to stop- to stop stalling and face the fact that things are going to be different without him, you know...? I know that when he left you were never the same- it's like he took a part of you with him and I miss that part of you, Charles... We all do..."

Hank stepped closer tentatively and looked more pleadingly at the professor. Charles felt slightly incredulous that he had the audacity to mention that man in his presence so openly and he opened his mouth to retort when he was cut off by a letter being thrown down at the desk.

"This is for you... It came in the mail and- it might not be something that you're ready for..."

Charles raised an eyebrow and slowly unfolded the envelope, but the scrawled and rather spidery handwriting was unmistakable. Just one word, one simple word that scarred the back of the envelope.

~Charles~

It was addressed to him of course, but he froze up staring at the name as if he had never read it before in his whole life. It was as if he could hear the word rolling off the elegant tongue he remembered so clearly.

This was Erik speaking to him.

"If you don't want to read it then I can just throw it away," Hank said hopefully since he didn't want the professor mingling with those dangerous people, especially when he was dealing with so much already because of them. "What do you think...?"

Charles was silent as his fingertips slowly caressed the inked creases of the letters, wondering what that man could possibly have to say to him after all of this time. His hand had been here how long ago, touching this paper with his skin...?

The professor was only shocked out of his thoughts when he felt Hank shaking his shoulder gently and he let out a little gasp as he blinked to focus. Would he open the letter...? No. Erik didn't deserve his attention. Not anymore...

"Yes- I mean, I will keep it in here," he said quickly as he tucked the paper into a random drawer hastily. "I wouldn't want to throw it away just in case it has something more important... I'll read it later, perhaps. Now don't you have a class to go and teach? Off with you now, go on. Thank you for the post."

As he ushered Hank out and closed the door, cutting off his incredulous exclamations, Charles slowly turned his gaze back to the drawer that now housed the letter. Well, it was certainly something that he never expected from the German, written words. If it was a formal apology of some sort, the professor would burn it here and now because he wanted none of it. What Erik had done to him was unforgivable, yes, but he just didn't have the energy to care about most things anymore. Life, mostly. His life wasn't the fairytale it once was. Not without Erik.

Against his better judgement, Charles made his way back to the drawer, his internal battle tearing at his lungs, making it hard to breathe as he shakily lifted the letter out of the drawer, staring at his own name again. Could he do this...?

Throwing caution to the wind the professor tore open the letter with the aggression of a resentful, heartbroken man, but whatever contents the note held had better be worth his pain!