Superhuman | Sope FF

14.

This was how things typically went as the week went on. Breakfast, classes, lunch, hoseok would meet Jungkook, more classes, dorm, dinner, dorm. The same schedule everyday and the same routine. Hoseok was still ignoring Yoongi, so things were boring. Of course, hoseok was still harrassed daily, but he was unhurt. More annoyed than anything. He tried his best to ignore it but he would sometimes give a sassy remark just because his perpetrator was so stupid. That isnt exactly nice but hey, is it wrong?

His patience was honestly starting to run thin, and he seemed more tired as the days went on. He was fine emotionally and physically even it came to feeling happy. He felt happy. He always did. But he was a bit tired and it was obvious to his friends.

When Hoseok walked into his dorm that day he was shocked and a bit stunned by what he stepped in to. The minute he opened the door and walked inside he was shoved against it harshly, causing the door to slam behind him. it wouldnt have hurt him, he was just shocked.

"What's your fucking problem?" Yoongi asked him, now having Hoseok pinned to the door.

"What are you on about?" Hoseok asked, frowning a little.

"You know. I'm sick of you avoiding me." Yoongi said seriously.

"Hyung, I'm just tired. I need some space."

"Liar. You've been avoiding me and only me. If you needed space you would distance yourself from Jungkook too. You're always with him." Yoongi pointed out.

Hoseok just looked away and bit his bottom lip, not wanting to answer the older.

Yoongi tilted Hoseok's head back and pouted. "What did I do...?" He asked quietly, his voice a little bit sad and broken with such a simple and easy question.

Hoseok was silent for a little before just shaking his head. "Nothing hyung. You didnt do anything. Its me..I'm the one being stupid."

"But why-?" Yoongi asked innocently.

"Because sometimes when I'm around you I feel weird...my chest feels heavy and I feel like I might cry. Not all the time, just sometimes. I hate that feeling. It scares me. It's a new feeling and I dont like it. I want to avoid it at all costs so...I just thought the best and easiest option would be to avoid you." hoseok explained. He was clearly guilty about it as he kept his head down as he gave his explanation.

Yoongi pulled away from him and nodded. "That hurt a lot. It made me sad." He mumbled, sighing after he said it.

"Did it...? I'm sorry. I didnt mean to upset you." Hoseok said.

Yoongi just looked up at him. His expression wasnt soft or kind anymore. It was angry. "Its whatever. Not like you understand how I feel anyways. Not like you'd be able to understand my sadness, even if you fucking wanted to." He said coldly,

his words came out harsh. And Hoseok knew he wasnt lying because Yoongi couldnt lie.

"I'm gonna stay with Taehyung tonight." Yoongi muttered before grabbing his things and walking out their dorm, slamming the door behind him.

Hoseok just stood there. He was confused. He wasnt upset or hurt, just confused. But he didnt follow after Yoongi. He sat on his bed and just stared at the wall in front of him.

Sometimes, Hoseok hated his ability. He hated the fact he couldnt sympathize with people. He hated the fact he couldnt understand other people's sadness or pain. He wanted to be able to understand, especially when it came to people he cared about. He liked Yoongi a lot. They were friends and he didnt want to ruin that friendship.
He was angry that he couldnt even feel guilty for hurting Yoongi. He had said sorry, but did he feel bad. No.

He had been asked once if guilt went with pain, and today was the day he figured out it did. He wished it didnt. It made him even angrier that he couldnt even feel remorse for what he did. Not feeling guilty allowed him to make the same mistakes again and again. He didnt want to be a bad person. He didnt want to be a bad friend.

Hoseok wanted to be hurt. He wanted to feel pain for once.