Thoughts In The Three AM

My childhood

When I look back at my childhood
Yeah when I look back on where I once stood
I see someone's potential
Being sucked right out of their young soul
They try to understand themselves
But ignored is every cry for help
They go through pain and don't know how to cope
So they turn to blades and consider the rope
They want to be rid of the mental torture
Of growing up too fast, taking care of their father
Yeah cause when I look back at my childhood
Yeah when I look back at where I once stood
I see a girl trying to fit in
But she'd seen much more than all them
She finds a girl she does adore
But she looses her when she hit the floor
She turns to a man, yeah big and strong
He was too old and she was wrong
He did things to her she didn't know
How wrong they were cause he gave her snow
White powder she put up her nose
To forget that girl tied with a hose
She then turned to a wicked witch
Who Made out with her best friend then called it quits
Back to older men she turned
And at 16 that man went and earned
Something she could never get back
He was 22 yeah that didn't track
She gave him everything she had
She thought she loved him but it was bad
She gave up things she never would
To a man that left her as soon as he could
Yeah when I look back at my childhood
Oh when I look back at where I once stood
I see a person questioning
Their parents being menacing
They didn't know how to say
That they weren't straight but they weren't gay
They told their mother first who said
She wasn't ready for that info yet
Their mother told their father and
He said it was a sin
To be happy with a woman who
Would treat you right unlike I do
He knew they wouldn't get those words
So he told them they would be disowned
If they didn't marry a boy
So they shut up and hid their joy
They couldn't talk about their pain
With their ex's who used them in vain
But that was back in 7th grade
And now I'm here and feelings fade
Just a year ago I was still young
Didn't under stand who I was
Now I know myself in all
But I still cry when I fall
Cause when I look back at my childhood
Yeah when I look back at where I once stood
I see a person with no one else
To guid them away from that shelf
They grew up way too fast I see
Having sex at a slumber party
When they were only ten years old
Their heart already so so cold
They have no one to walk them down
The aisle in that special gown
Their brother said he'd be happy to
But that just made them more blue
They don't get why their father can't love them
For who they are and not their sin
Yeah when I look back at my childhood
Oh when I look back at where I once stood
I see someone broken inside
I see someone trying to hide
I see someone who needs help
Their drowning and can't get out
Cause when I look back at my childhood
There are tears blood and death where I once stood.