let me love you ~ michael jackson & ariana grande

absoloutely drained

December 17th, 2004

Ariana

It's been a little over a year since the accusations against Michael were put on blast for the whole world to see again. The way time has been passing by so fast makes me nervous, the past 12 months have felt so exhausting. With the allegations still going on, Michael and I's trips to court have turned monthly and soon I think they're going to to turn weekly.

People have their minds set on him being a predator and nothing hurts me more than to see the bullshit that they say. Michael tries putting on his best face for the children, Paris and Prince have no idea what's going on and we want it to stay that way. We tell Dede what we can because she's proved that she's mature enough to handle these things. She's always been a daddy's girl so I know all of this is breaking her heart.

When it came to my grandmother, I still think about her passing everyday. It use to hurt so much that even getting up and brushing my teeth was a hassle but I think I'm almost healed. Of course, she's still on my mind constantly, I think she always will be.

I shake my deep thinking off and walk back outside, the usual kids and adults are gathered around the fields near the main house in Neverland. Even though Michael and I aren't staying here to live anymore, we still visit. Today, Michael is throwing a Christmas party for some disadvantaged people. No matter how many times the world would try and knock Michael down, he'll always give back to it.

They all start shouting cheers when they see me walk up behind Michael, I greet them with a wave and smile.

Michael waves all of the guests off and they run around, having the time of their lives. I suddenly feel his arm grip my waist and he kisses my ear.

"You look so beautiful, my love." He compliments, knowing he'll have my cheeks redden instantly and they do. "Oh, shut up." I try hiding the smile on my face but it's too late.

"Hey, I have something to show you." He pulls my hand before I can object. "Think of it as an early Christmas gift."

I groan. "Michael, you know I hate surprises."

"You'll love this one, I know it." He leads me back to the main house, taking us both to the living room. An easel with what I'm assuming is a canvas sits on it with a sheet draped over.

"Close your eyes." I stare at him with a slight smirk.

"I'm serious." He laughs.

I roll my eyes humorously, placing my hands over my closed lids. I hear shuffling from the other side of the room. "Okay, you can look now."

My hands fall to my side and my grin drops into a fine line, my orbs wet with tears as the painting brings me an overwhelming sense of emotions. What's displayed on the portrait is me with both of my grandparents as a baby, this is identical to the photograph that sits in the entrance of my childhood home. Only Michael would pay close enough attention to see that I've been so in love with this picture ever since it was first framed and put up on our wall.

My reaction starts to worry him. "Do you not like it? I'm sorry-"

I rush over to his frantic self, cutting him off with a kiss.

"Michael, no one's ever gave me something like this before. Thank you. I love it."

"I'm glad you do. I thought I was about to have my head torn off." He jokes making me laugh loudly, silence enters the room and soon it's so quiet you could hear a pin drop, I figure this is a good time to tell Michael how I've been feeling these past months.