The Girl With The Mask

WHY DOES SHE WEAR A MASK?

I think I reached the point in life where I was just done. I cried, I tried, I pushed with everything that I had...but everything came crashing down on me like a wave, and this time I was too weak, too worn, to fight back. I had to just dust it all under the rug and pretend, and that's when I put on the mask.

I watched her rehearse every night in front of the mirror. How to smile, how to laugh, how to make others laugh and what to say. I watched myself stand there, pulling faces at my own reflection. I never felt what my face was telling people I did, but I had become so used to pretending that I did, that I couldn't tell if I would feel like it.

I am the type of girl that can be so hurt, so broke, so fallen apart, but still look at you and smile. That smile, that's the mask. That's what hides everything because everyone believes it. Everyone thinks it's real...but it never is.

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She wears the mask because she hates how she feels, she hates that she could be a burden, that she might make other people feel as shit as her, and so she masks it all. She wears concealer to cover the bags that hang under her eyes from the sleepless nights, she wears her hair down to hide the spots where she pulled out clumps of hair, she wears lip gloss to blend the torn lips from where she bit at it all day because she was too scared to wake up and see what's on the other side.

But most of all, she wears a smile. She wears a smile to hide all the tiredness, the tears, the pain. It's like a plaster, it shields it from outside, it doesn't necessarily help, but it hides it from the world.