The Girl With The Mask

TOMORROW

I went through days where I was scared of tomorrow. I would be scared to go to sleep because I was scared of what tomorrow might bring. I was scared that I might lose someone else, and I didn't want to let that happen. Although tomorrow was ahead of me, it felt like a dark shadow lingering over me, haunting me, and there was nothing in this world that I could do to make it go away. Tomorrow is inevitable, it's going to happen, but I didn't want it to.

There are quotes about how tomorrow is a new day. But I feel like the truth is, you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Someone I admire once said "No matter the year, circumstance, or strifes everyday you're alive is a blessing, make the most of today and every day you are given. tomorrow is not promised." and I live by that. I think that's why I was so afraid of tomorrow; I couldn't control what was going to happen, I didn't know if I would wake up, and that's what scared me.

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Although sometimes I didn't want to wake up.

I was never really religious; I was raised in quite a Christian household, but I never was really too involved in it all. That was until she passed. She was a firm believer in the fact that God had a plan, that our lives are predetermined, and that sort of made me turn to God a little. I only really spoke to him when I was really lost, I mostly just spoke to her. I would lie in bed alone, at night, and just talk to her, say thank you and tell her I miss her.

One night I asked him to take me. I lied in bed and I just looked up and I asked him if there was any way he could just take me in my sleep. I didn't care about where I ended up, I just wanted to leave. I know it sounds dumb and impossible, but it looked like there was nothing else I could do anymore. I was just too tired.