mentally in love ☼ troyler au

V

Troye

20.01.15

1:15 p.m.

"No," I say honestly and run over to him to hug him. I start to cry a bit since I was sad. Like I always am. I feel Tyler's arms wrap around me and I start to smile. It didn't feel fake this time, and I was scared. Did I like Tyler in that way? I hug him tightly for a second and let go.

"What's the matter?" He says with anxiety in his voice.

"They're back. They want me to kill myself. Please help me, Tyler," I beg. He nods as his response to my question. He sits down onto my metal bed. I do the same and sit close to him, but not too close.

"Who's 'they', Troye?" He asks me. I hesitate and shrug.

"Voices in my head. I-I'm scared, Tyler. What should I do?" I ask him, looking down at him. I saw him look at me and study my face. I do the same. He had greeny-blue eyes, beautiful, teal hair, a nice smile, a nice body....

I was getting off of topic. I mentally hit my head to force myself to stop. Then, he speaks.

"Well, hm, I don't know. Just think of something you like to do. Do you ever just sing? Draw imaginary pictures with your finger? Sleep?" I think. I write songs? But I don't want to tell him that. Dr. Winston could find out and hurt me and possibly kill me by starving me to death. I stared at the ground at my feet, then at the ceiling. I then look at Tyler.

"Can I tell you a secret? Don't tell anyone though. I hope that I can trust you." He nods and respond with an 'okay'. "I have papers and pencils, actually. Don't tell Dr. Winston, though. He told me that if I told anyone he gave me supplies, since I'm not supposed to, he will kill me. I do want to die, but not in here. He either said that or I will stay here forever and rot until I die."

"What do you write in the papers?"

"My unfinished song," I say without stuttering. Which is a first.

"Also, Troye, who's vice do you hear in your head when they are speaking to you?" I hesitate. I was thinking. I didn't know.

Faggot, you know who the fuck I am.

It was Dr. Winston's voice. "Dr. Winston."

"Can you tell me about him? Like, tell me all the things he has done to you. I have all day." And that moment I was scared as fuck. What if Dr. Winston heard through cameras? I don't think they pick up sound, though. But I was still worried and nervous. I decided to tell him anyways.

"W-Well, he basically abused me. He beaten me, threaten me, and starved m-me. I didn't want him to do that. P-Please don't do any of that to me, T-Tyler. You're the only one I actually trust here even though we met and-" A nurse bursts through the door. Tyler and I both look towards her direction. She smiles. But it was fake.

"Tyler? Dr. Winston needs to see you for a second in his office," she says. Tyler nods and gets up from the bed. I look at Tyler with worried eyes and a fake smile. Then, they both leave the room together. The door locks behind them.

I was scared.

I was nervous.

What will he say to Tyler? Will he say that he's making him a patient? Because he's done that many times before. My favourite nurse, Ashley, was convicted with Bipolar and something like Stockholm Syndrome as her disorders. She died in her cell a few weeks later when she kept seeing a patient that she fell in love with. What if that happens to me? Or if Tyler likes me, what if it happens to him?

There were many unanswered questions running through my brain. I couldn't breathe. I start to heavily breathe for air since it was hard to breathe, even though it is an open space of room. I then run over to my bed and take the paper and pencil from under the mattress to write some more lyrics to calm me down.

My sweet little pill
Take my hunger
Lights within
Numb my skin.

Then, the door opens, revealing Tyler I smile and run towards him. "What happened? Why did he need you? What-"

"I'm okay, okay? He just threatened me that he would fire me. Anyways, what're you writing?" He asks. I looked over where he was pointing. I saw my papers and pencil scattered around the corner. I walk over there and pick up the song lyrics and turn around to face Tyler. I hand him the papers. He reads over them quickly. "Is this the song you sang earlier?" I nod. "This song is amazing... When did you learn to write like this?" I shrug.

"I used to be in school plays and sometimes we wrote our own songs... But-"

"But what?" He says eagerly. I bite my bottom lip and look down at my feet, kicking at some small pebbles.

"I'll tell you later. You need to eat your lunch-"

"You too!" He says. "Ya know what, I'll get lunch for us. How does pizza sound?" I smile and nod. "I'll have a nurse take you to my office and we can eat some pizza there. Sounds like a plan?"

"Yeah. See you soon," I say, smiling. He then leaves my room. I walk over to my corner and sit. Then, the door opens again. It was Dr. Winston. Fuck.

"Talking to Tyler, aren't ya?" I gulp. "Well stop. He's a bad influence and I don't think you should hang out with him. Remember Ashley? Yeah, she's dead because she loved a patient. And if you do the same to Tyler, or Tyler does the same to you, then either you or Tyler will be with Ashley." He grabs onto my shirt and pulls me closer when I wasn't paying attention.

"If you want to get out, stay as far away from Tyler as possible, except therapy sessions. Don't interact with him outside of the session, nor let him in this cell. I want Tyler to pay attention to his work, not you. You aren't permitted to fall in love with anyone else. This is an asylum for crazy people, including you. Just saying, I'm not afraid to kill. Don't ever fall in love with him or let him fall in love with you, you freak. You hear me?" I don't look him in the eyes, nor speak to him at all. "I said, did you hear me?" He says in an angrier tone.

And I nod.

☼

so the other day there was a bomb threat at my school

i got my freshmen classes for next year and i guess i'm gonna be in english honours???? not sure how though since i'm shit in english

so hi everyone sorry for such a short chapter. i'm tired and i have to do homework. a new chapter is coming soon hopefully tomorrow or the next day after tomorrow. i update two books at the time, so i have one book update one day then the next one the next day (that was probably rlly confusing to you bc it was confusing to me)

Chapter V Question:

Will Troye listen to Dr. Winston and stay away from Tyler, or will he disobey him and fall in love with Tyler, risking the chances of getting killed?

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