TOUCHED

TOUCHED - Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Nothing was going right. Adrenaline and desperation always made me reckless and I was willing to do things he was not. It was why my size was usually irrelevant. I had not counted on an actual struggle with him and he had not been gentle. When he had pinned me I’d thought it was over, I was done for. I had been so focused on an escape that I had forgotten the other reason I needed to leave.

I knew the moment he had seen my hand shaking. It was the perfect out. It had been so tempting to just play possum, to lie there and pretend I was dying. It would have solved so many problems. The most important one being that he would have told them I was already dead. It was a free pass and I had almost done it. I should have taken it.

But then Dillon had called for help. I had to be the dumbest person I knew. Eric had given me an out, not my first choice, but I had played that card often enough to know it worked. All it took was one thought of Anna and the innocent life that would die if she did. I knew it was going to create as many problems as it solved but I just couldn’t make myself stay dead.

So, I had answered Dillon. Sure enough, when I turned to watch Eric’s reaction, he did not disappoint. It was almost funny. I promised myself I would sear that expression into my memory. He didn’t waste a second getting to the uncomfortable questions.

“What is wrong with you?”

“Haven’t you figured it out yet?” I whispered back, a wicked smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. “I don’t know how to follow the rules.”

Where was my anger when I needed it? His gaze pinned me down and stripped me of my prepared pretenses. The hardest part was, I knew I wanted to tell him the truth. A voice in my head reminded me that the person kneeling in front of me was not really the one I wanted to confess to.

“You’re alive and sitting up! That’s not possible!” He hissed.

“Calm down. I’m only a version of alive and not a pretty one. As for the how, haven’t figured that out yet but I am taking bets. You want to put your money on curse or just mutant?”

Even as I tried to make light I fought with the part of me that looked at him and saw someone else. But it was the hint of fear in those oddly familiar eyes that really stung. Just the reminder of his face burned. I didn’t want to lie to him or the person he represented to me.

“I don’t understand.” He leaned in as he spoke, some hidden motive driving him. “Did someone test a cure on you? Does it not work right? Where did you get it? You have to tell me.”

Wow, desperation was an unsettling look on him. Before I could stop myself I heard the words spilling out in a rush. “Hold on big guy, this is the farthest thing from a cure or treatment or whatever you are thinking so forget that right now. Whatever this is, it’s worse. Do you understand me? I get all the symptoms. As far as I can tell I go numb, get the shakes, eventually blackout and then wake up hours or days later.” I paused to swallow hard then squeezed the last part out between gritted teeth. “I could probably beat Anna to the finish line if only I knew how to cross it.”

“How?” Eric looked like he was going to be sick.

“I told you, whatever mutation I was born with is broken. I usually keep to myself so I don’t wake up in a mass grave with the ones who stay dead.” That was only partially true.

I watched his face as each word took root. I mentally dared him to be different, to accept the damaged person in front of him with compassion and empathy. He failed, his expression morphing into disgust.

“Now there is the acceptance I know and love. Satisfied?” I demanded bitterly.

“How- How many times?” He asked, his instincts making him finally lean away. I followed, holding his gaze in mine.

“More than a few.”                                          

“You’re lying.” He accused but his tone was more confused than anything else.

“I am just as disgusted as you are now.” I figured it was the bitterness in my words that finally took the fight out of him. “- every time I wake up.”

We both went silent as my words hung in the air between us. It was Eric who finally stood up with a look I couldn’t read. I followed him, never taking my eyes off of him. As I held the still trembling hand behind my back the lobby started to tilt around me. The clock was still ticking.

I opened the bag that had stayed across my body in the tussle with Eric. I held up the packets of fresh gauze and he finally stepped out of my path. I could see his brain was still working overtime. He stayed behind the couch as I knelt at Anna’s side and changed the dressing. Dillon mumbled quiet thanks and never took his eyes off of the fading girl in his arms. She clearly needed more help than any of us could provide.

As I finished I realized that Anna still hadn’t moved since we had pulled her off the bus. I considered smoke inhalation and overheating but nothing other than the gash on her forehead explained her continued unconsciousness. Her breathing was steady but she showed no other sign of life. I was starting to think I had been too late.

I backed away, and considered my options. I didn’t really have any. I began gathering the things I hadn’t given away and stuffing them roughly into my bag. I would have to hope to find another place off the street. I had to make a run for it and time was not on my side.

I kept an eye on the strangers I was sacrificing my hiding place for as I moved about the lobby. Eric was alternating between watching Dillon hold Anna and watching me. His brown eyes softened a face that would have otherwise been cold and hard. He seemed to be considering my same course of action but was far more intent on keeping a safe distance between us. I guessed that after I left he would be quick to disappear as well. The thought made me ache.

I knew that, rational or not, impostor or not, I wasn’t ready to leave him or who he represented, not yet.

Eric had the body of an athlete; much like the one in the memory I was trying to suppress. I wondered briefly what Eric had done before all this. Our eyes met and I was the one to look away this time. I hated abandoning Anna but the trembling in my hand reminded me why I had to get away from them. They were strangers.

I wasn’t going to be helpless in front of them if I could help it. And I didn’t want to watch the graphic way Anna was about to die in Dillon’s arms, it was too close to what I was about to experience alone.