TOUCHED

TOUCHED - Chapter 13

Chapter 13

I turned back with Anna, expecting her to react to being touched or at least Eric’s proximity but she only had eyes for Dillon. I was suddenly worried about how long it would take her to feel the shaking in my hands. If she was anything like me the general numbness would wear off quickly.

Anna was the first person I had seen revived after they started shaking, other than me. I held my breath as I waited to I hear if it was the same for Anna as it was for me.

“It crashed? But how? I just remember talking with you before- I was so dizzy - think I fell asleep. Only waking up was so hard, like I was trying to get out of a dream and I just couldn’t get back to you I-” She started to cry.

“Shhhh… it’s okay, you don’t have to talk about it.” Dillon caressed her face. “You’re okay now. I’m here. We brought you back; you are going to make it.”

So that was it then. I hadn’t realized how much I had been hoping they stayed aware, as cruel as I knew that to be. In the tiny space between Dillon’s question and Anna’s answer I had imagined that I would finally have another person who knew what it was like and have been awake; to have lived to tell about it. For those few heartbeats I had pretended that I wasn’t alone anymore. Sure, it was a comfort to know that people didn’t suffer but it didn’t diminish the sting.

That confirmation was the final straw for me. I had hit the limits of my will power. Small stars were exploding behind my eyes from the effort of acting like I was okay. I withdrew my hands from her back and stomach, pulling her shirt back over the extended bulge. I then moved quietly to her feet and replaced her shoes and socks before standing up where she could see me.

“Anna, hey, welcome back, for what that’s worth.” I stammered awkwardly, unsure of how to give them the news. She looked around the lobby for the first time, taking us all in. I shoved my trembling left hand into my back pants pocket and retrieved my bag. Without Anna’s body weight to hold it down the shaking had become quite obvious. There wasn’t time to start those questions.

“I’m Renee, that is Eric and you are in Portland, in case you weren’t sure.” As I spoke she looked at me with an expression I hadn’t seen in years. Her brown eyes were warm and brimming with genuine acceptance. It disarmed me and I stopped, losing my train of thought.

“What do you mean when you say you brought me back?” Anna asked, looking suspiciously at each of us. When she got to Dillon he looked away guiltily. “What did you do?”

“He saved your life and probably your baby’s life Anna. That is what is important.” I answered.

“No, I can see it on all of your faces. What happened? What did you do?” She persisted.

I looked to Dillon with raised eyebrows. I was going to tell her if he didn’t. Thankfully he got the message.

“It’s my fault baby, I asked them to help me.”

“To help you what?” She caught Dillon’s eyes as she asked. I watched her hold him there with so much love and acceptance I could almost feel it myself. I felt Dillon’s guilt at his betrayal.

“Renee helped me carry you off the bus but you still wouldn’t wake up. I thought you were dying or I promise I would have never done it but-“ He paused, gathering his courage, “I touched you first.”

Anna gasped but he continued.

“I found your heart with my hand and I willed you to stay with me. Without your Second Skin between us I just held on. We expected you to start shaking any second but you didn’t. It was like you were in some kind of limbo. Then I took my hand away for just a second and every nightmare I’ve ever had started to become real. You were going to die and there was nothing I could do! It was Renee who figured it out; that my touching you had stopped or delayed it somehow.”