2.2 | A Lifetime Of You ✓

chapter 3

A cup of coffee, a classical melody playing on the radio in his car, and that grey muffler wrapped around his neck. That was how Joon's second day at the task force workshop started.

Last night, when he had gone to bed, his head was quite full of Cyan.

As a youth, Joon couldn't get to even spare a glance at the boys playing soccer in the school grounds, even if his seat was by the window. Mathematics used to be a demanding mistress. In college, Joon realised that being a brainiac wasn't going to help and he needed not only good grades but an impeccable resume if he wanted to work for his dream company. Then, in the army, Joon realised that connections didn't matter as much as physical strength did. So he started working on his body.

But when that dull light at the end of his imaginary tunnel flickered and Joon found himself all alone and lonely, trapped in an echo chamber all made by himself... he realized he was chasing a hollow mirage.

Being a team leader in Jeguk Electronics, having been to Russia and China as a foreign exchange student and having a 6'2" body of lean muscles really meant nothing.

Seo Cyan was a person who made Joon think. Stay alive in the dead of that night and look outside the massive glass window of his apartment, slowly counting the glittering stars of the city below.

Joon kept wondering about him, his life, his secrets, the stories behind his eyes. When the sun came up, he wondered how he should greet Cyan. Like an old friend, or maybe like a long lost relative. He would wave his hand, give a smile and then walk past. Maybe stop by for a conversation in the cafeteria for lunch, take the empty seat next to him and talk about... well, whatever would deem fit in the moment.

The plan seemed okay, considering his heart beat a little faster when he thought of Cyan.

But all that preparation went down the drain as Cyan appeared in the office that morning, and came to sit in the cubicle right next to Joon.

"Good morning," Cyan said simply, with an effortless smile. Joon felt his pulse hike up and throat tighten as he watched Cyan take his place on the swivelling chair. The backrest creaked a little, giving Joon an unabashed straight view of Cyan's side profile- that straight nose, slim jaw and monolid eyes.

"Good morning," Joon replied, forcing himself to look in his desktop screen instead of that man.

He felt like a teenager all over again, and got reminded of a Japanese AV he had watched secretly once. Joon had borrowed that VCR from his senior, and then watched it once, twice, thrice, until he had grown tired of it and could manage to yawn right in the frame where the actors supposedly climaxed.

And then, after all those years, forgotten in time, Joon felt a sense of dread. The pleasant, nerve tingling kind of dread. The addictive one. The one where he couldn't stop thinking about imaginary situations where he could end up with Cyan— trapped in a broken elevator, sharing one pair of headphones and listening to Yiruma, on the beach, on a sidewalk, Cyan's head resting on his shoulder.

Endless, infinite possibilities.

And with those feelings, also came a nerve wracking thought. What if Cyan didn't feel the same? What if they didn't get along well? What if he made things awkward with him? And even if Cyan accepted him, the task force training camp would end in four months. After that, they would part their ways and go back to their own departments.

"Mr. Kim, do you have an extra notepad?" Cyan's voice rang clear, as bright daylight, and cleared away all of Joon's murky, cloudy thoughts. They could wait. Cyan was next to him. In a literal sense.

"Yes," Joon found himself smiling. It had only been one day. One day. Yet, it felt like ages.

_____

Seo Cyan was a God damned master of presentations. And his slides... those were a work of unadulterated, gorgeous art. He had a charisma of sorts, and people couldn't look away from him while he stood before the presentation screen in the dark room and gave his ideas for the screen layout. Joon felt as if he was watching a movie.

The content was immersive, and Cyan's visuals were stunning. The only fact Joon disliked was that he wasn't the only one staring. The females and males looked at Cyan's back with a familiar longing gaze when he turned to the other side to use the white board for writing something down. Joon felt inexplicably proud, and shamelessly angry at the same time.

Cyan wasn't his. He had no right to feel jealous like that.

"Notes app, cool idea. I particularly liked the grid feature." Joon tried to keep his voice nonchalant when he approached Seo Cyan outside the conference room, holding two cans of lemonade.

"That's for me?" Cyan pointed to the black and neon green can.

"If you want." Joon shrugged.

"Thank you." Cyan's smiles were very cheap. He gave them away for anything and everything. Joon didn't know his own adrenaline was cheaper than Cyan's smiles. They seemed like hike up for almost nonsensical reasons.

"I'll be going early today," Joon said when the clock struck five in the evening. The Sales team had their presentations first thing next morning and Joon needed time to prepare. He said loudly, and hoped that Cyan would follow him outside. They could walk together. Maybe hold hands. Enjoy an ice cream while walking. Or watch a movie -

"Me too," Cyan said and stood up, stashing all his files into his messenger bag and looking at his wrist watch with a sense of urgency. "I should leave now."

"We can walk outside... together," Joon offered.

"I have to stop by the first floor," Cyan gave him an apologetic smile.

"I actually have some business there, so let's go." Lies. Joon had no remaining business in the company building. "Did you leave some documents or schedule appointments?"

"No, actually I have to make a pick up," Cyan said. They walked to the elevator together and Joon pressed the buttons, thinking of the words Cyan had just said.

"My daughter is in the company daycare," Cyan said.

Endless, infinite possibilities. And a single sentence of Cyan made them vanish into thin air, and yanked him back into reality.

That was only the beginning of the four month long task force training.