chapter thirteen

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Ricardo remained silent at first as he drove us back to the circus.

Not that it bothered me, it give me the time to assimilate the afternoon's events with my father, and I was too busy going over the few hours we had spent together to care if Ricardo chose to speak with me or not.

But then, after a little while, I was aware of him glancing over at me with an almost thoughtful look.

"What did you tell your father about us, and about our marriage?" he then enquired

"N-nothing," I stammered, "Actually I didn't intend to mention it all, but they spotted the wedding ring on my finger," I explained shifting uneasily.

"So they assumed we got married for what reason? Because we were madly in love?" Ricardo queried a little mockingly

"Well I guess so," I replied feeling my face heat up, "That is usually why people get married"

"So you didn't put them straight on their wrong assumption, and try and tell them the real circumstances?" Ricardo glanced across at me again

"N-no," I admitted squirming a little

"Why not?" he demanded in open curiosity

I shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I was worried they wouldn't understand," I then admitted

"No, they probably wouldn't," Ricardo agreed, "Their way of life is not our way. Which is what I have been trying to tell you all along," his dark eyes now shooting me a meaningful look, "it's not good to get involved with outsiders."

I found myself unable to reply as I realised with some irritation that I had let him talk me straight into that one with my own mouth. Suddenly realising he had me in a position where I was unable to deny or argue his point was wrong.

He just shot me a small triumphant smile.

And there was nothing I could do but grudgingly accept that in this in this instance, he could be right.

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I was glad when we finally got back to the circus. I had no sooner got out of the car when Lisa eagerly pounced on me. She wanted to know what happened with my father. At least she was interested, and was one of the few who were not disapproving of my actions in wanting to see my father again.

We ended up going into my Aunt Lizzie's Caravan, she wasn't there, but my Uncle Hugo was. Then much to my surprise and unease, Ricardo followed after us as well. He started casually conversing with my uncle about their performance for later that evening, whilst Lisa fired questions at me.

I had the sneaky feeling Ricardo was listening in, though he behaved like he wasn't paying us any attention.

It made me answer Lisa's queries a little cautiously, I didn't want Ricardo accusing me of crowing or boasting about my father.

I was showing her the photographs my Father had given me, when my Aunt Lizzie came in, Lisa immediately leapt up with the photos in her hands, going over to her to let her see them also

"My aunt reluctantly took the photographs. I couldn't help noticing she took her time looking at the one of my mother with my Grandfather, then suddenly her face crumpled and she burst into tears, letting the photo drop on the floor.

My Uncle Hugo was over immediately putting his arm around her, "Lizzie what is wrong?" he asked with a frown of concern

My Aunt shook her head, trying to control her tears, "She was always his favourite" she sniffed resentfully, "My damned sister who turned her back on the circus and broke his heart, he still loved her more than me, even though I was the one stayed. It was always her, and her name was still on his lips in his deathbed.. But I was the one there holding his hand!" she sobbed

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