Silent Hearts

10| Ten

She found so much beauty in the dark as he found so many horrors in the light."

***

Sleep was far away from her senses. As she stared outside the window of the room she was in, Nandini realised she could not sleep. Her eyes were wide open as they drifted towards the trees on the lawn in front of the window, wandering through the bushes and creepers as they baulked to reveal their ultimate destination. The night sky, extended over to infinity with thousands of stars above her expressed their beauty to her. The warm wind seemed to touch her torso with an unprecedented gentleness as though they wished to ease her unsettled feelings.

The day passed by, and Nandini had refused to make her way outside the room. She had, for some moments, dreaded the thoughts of those undesired rituals but to her fortune, she didn't need to do anything against her wish. Maybe Tushar cancelled everything? She couldn't tell about his thoughts, but in a way, she felt relieved of those commitments. The meals were, even if she didn't want, brought to her. Nandini thought back to seeing Tushar a few times over the day, and how he refused to acknowledge her presence. It didn't irk her, not at all.

She never cared for his acknowledgements nor his emotions.

Her mother had called her once during the day, asking for her comfort and Tushar. She hadn't talked, nor uttered a word as she remained glued to her position, until she had felt his presence near her, taking the phone from her hands. She remained mute as she spent little attention to him, conversing with her mother, now his, too. Nandini didn't care enough for her family to ask about them, she had believed they would be happy without her. She hadn't bothered to look at Tushar nor did she tried to study the look he gave her after putting back his phone.

Nandini glanced at the clock resting on the wall. It was one and she couldn't sleep. The neighbourhood was too quiet and peaceful, or it seemed. It had been almost a decade since she had visited this house. She remembered how stupidly, timidly, she used to enter the house and how meekly she used to speak. Her late teacher would always laugh at her silent yet lively personality. She remembered how shy and uneasy she would get around her son, the same one who was now her husband.

Husband. The word brought an uncertain ache to her heart, an uneasy rush to her mind, fetching back so many memories to her soul, that disturbed her sanity. No, she wouldn't, she couldn't think of Tushar as her husband, for she had only him as her soulmate, as her partner, as her husband, as her lover, and he had perished. And, she wouldn't give the place of her husband, her lover to anyone else, ever.

As her sight fell on the room, assessing the walls, the painting that hung, the minimalistic decoration, the double bed, that dark-wooden wardrobe and every other detail her eyes could perceive under the vivid moonlight that cast its rays upon the corners of the room, elucidated the objects around it; nothing hasn't changed much, Nandini thought as she recalled the way this was years ago. Maybe some renovations and changing of colours but the majority remained just as before. Tushar didn't want to change his mother's lifestyle after all.

The calmness of the night prevailed as Nandini ambled towards the hallway. The tiny, dim lights in the hall made her path visible, as she stepped mindlessly ahead. The flower decorations the earlier night she had glanced at, were removed, just as she did in that room. She couldn't remember Tushar's room, not that she needed to remember that. This house, this situation was far different than two years prior. Silence prevailed in here whereas in there, only loud cheers could be heard. Everything had changed so drastically over the two years that all she could do now was compare.