Silent Hearts

16| Sixteen

You told him you love the rain, and now he never sleeps during the storms~

Just because they remind of you. . .

___________________

Nandini stared at his messed up bed, her body leaning against the blue wall beside the door that was wide open, the phone remained in her clasp as she stood there, motionless, her numb eyes wiped off all those tiredness burned as they stared at the fallen pillows beside the grey rug, her loneliness within her, finally getting to her, clawing at her disoriented self.

Tushar. . .

She couldn't bring herself to think anything else about him but his wellbeing. She couldn't have known for how much time she stood by the entrance to this house, how much time she remained looking for the maroon sedan that took Tushar away, with the man in a blue shirt. She couldn't think of the moments she spent standing in the living room, all by herself. She couldn't have known when her wobbly steps took her to his room, the same room where he suffered just because of her indifference to the emotions.

She couldn't care enough. Not for him.

Nandini felt her eyes glisten with the emotions in there, the littlest amount of tears that blurred her vision. She blinked, taking in a deep, shaky, breath before glancing at the device held in her left hand. It was time she realised her mistake, it was time she realised what was right to do.

Moving up her hand until she could see the screen flash with those earlier notifications, Nandini halted, an uneasy feeling rippling through her, as she realised, it was not proper or in any way, acceptable to look through other's files or personal things, not any message, too. The fingers trembled, her teeth ground against the other, momentarily making her go back to herself, her cold self, but he. . . didn't deserve that.

Ignoring the unusual sensations bubbling inside her chest, Nandini touched the message icon. There were all the unseen texts from Ronit Arora. As much Nandini didn't want to glance at what he had sent the day before, or even today, she couldn't help because she already did glance at those.

Tushar are you still at your cabin?

I guess you should check on yourself, I mean, you seemed quite disturbed, not to mention the way you perspired today, which you never do.

Those were from the night before, almost around the time Tushar reached home. Reading those two writings, her chest tightened, a faint feeling of something twisting around the back of her mind disturbed her. Even Tushar had friends that cared, even he had someone who noticed him. The care in those words shook her to the bottom of her unseen depths, the care she never felt, not towards him?

Or, did she?

Oh, she felt like laughing. She was heinous, she had learned that about herself, she was awful and never did she care. It was her selfishness. Always had been.

For if she had cared, she would not have failed to notice all his trouble.

As she read the other messages that were just about Ronit asking Tushar why he had not seen him, why his messages were being ignored, why his calls were not received, if Tushar was fine. . . Tushar is not fine, Nandini's inner voice screamed at her, only her, for even the heavens believed she was his ruin.