Silent Hearts

24 | Twenty Four

. . .I found you

without looking,

and fell for you,

without trying. . .

* * *

"What?!"

That loud voice etched with disbelief, deteriorated with the flickers of mortification that churned his insides, pushing out the faded thoughts of explanations after this, succumbed to the despair that clouded his vision, as it saw his sister missing her balance, this time, however, noticing the way her hand rested on the side of her stomach.

"Didibhai—" he began, his voice nothing but crawled with concern, and remorse, as his eyes took in the changes before him.

Tulika stepped back, her eyes couldn't be any wider, as blank as the void in his heart, empty. Nothing could be seen in those eyes that had reigned over the enjoyment that never ceased, for this time, he had left no reasons to. Within the blur of time, her eager expressions died down to an elusive sadness that he could grasp just as they flickered through her now dull face. Lips pulled straight into a fine line of qualm, as she peered at him.

His heart broke. He had hurt his sister.

As the moments of despair seemed to never cease, a small mumble, broken with the need to believe, heavy with the unhappiness, reached the barriers of his ears:

"Why?"

"Didi–" he needed to answer. He did. He couldn't see his sister this unhappy. He had caused this.

"Why Tushar?" She raised her eyes to him, pinning him down with her harshness, "Is this a mockery?" She held back from the shouts that almost erupted, gulping the dryness down her throat, nothing but needing the reasons for his actions.

"I was–"

"Is this all for your stupid pleasure? A mere game? Tell me Tushar, is this a parody of the dollhouse games we used to tease each other with huh?!" Her voice rose an octave, shrill yet full with anger and torn emotions she was feeling, her tone firm, as she turned her head towards the other woman who stood there, meekly, the sight which, somehow, unsettled her.

"I married her. Nandini. . . is my wife–" Tushar inhaled, sharply, his eyes straight, boring into Tulika's, set with the determination to answer the strands of lies he had weaved into his naive heart, since the day he couldn't remember.

She frowned, lips curving into a sneer as tears filled those eyes, yet never did that glare die down. Was this her little brother?

But before she could question any further, Tushar beat her to it, his eyes lowering until they couldn't meet up with any other pair, his throat clogging up with emotions, heart heavy with the agony of hurting his sister yet never telling her his reasons. Those true reasons he couldn't himself learn. Oh, he knew how hard he wished to utter the words his heart wanted to let out, yet somehow his mind always refused to acknowledge. So many things, there prevailed so many words he wished he had known or dared to utter, but that scared little boy, who used to cry over little things then also, that feared little one, who had never let the man within himself to let free, forgot all the desires that survived within him, and he, nonetheless, uttered: