euphoria | cazzie

I Lost You

    "My mum didn't go to college and she invented the Tampon Gravity Bong," Izzie said and sipped on her orange juice. "That was your mum?" Gretchen asked, dumbfounded. The next morning had arrived faster than I hoped. Evan, Sharice, Zahid and his new girlfriend he met at the back of Techtropolis, Gretchen had come over for breakfast. Elsa absolutely loved it whenever my friends would come over. It was a chance for her to be a mother again and get her mind off her absolutely destroyed relationship with Dad. Right now, they were all talking about the importance of going to college but I wasn't paying attention at all. Izzie's dad was on my mind more than I would like to admit. I suddenly felt a soft and familiar touch on my thigh and I looked up to see Izzie looking at me. She communicated with her eyes as if saying "You okay?" and I nodded with a smile. From the corner of my eye, I saw Gretchen stare at us weirdly but I ignored it. Gretchen was nothing like I expected. Zahid had mentioned her several times but always described her as "innocent" and "sweet". Trust me this girl was nothing like that. But she somehow managed to complement Zahid which was cool.

    I reached over the table to grab a cheese cube from the bowl that was next to Izzie. She took a cube from the bowl and put it in my mouth before giggling, making my face go deep red. Everyone looked at us and then looked at each other. "You two dating?" Gretchen asked causally and I choked on the cube of cheese. I kept coughing, trying to get the cube out and Izzie slapped my back. "I'll take that as a yes?" Zahid asked. "We're not dating," I said, side-eyeing my mum who was looking at me. I felt Izzie look at me for a while and I knew I would have to talk to her about it later. "Well, even if you guys are I fully support it. You guys would be so cute together!" Sharice exclaimed.

    "Thanks Sharice. It's nice to know we would be supported. But it's fine I guess Casey doesn't want it," Izzie said sarcastically. I bent my head down. Fuck my life...

    "So... we better head off to school?" Evan said and everyone nodded, standing up. They went to the kitchen to put back their plates. "Iz..." I mumbled, taking her hand and she walked away, letting go of my hand. "Case, you know no matter what I'm going to support you right?" Elsa said, coming to sit next to me. "Yeah mum I know..."

    Everyone left and got into Evan's car and they were off to Newton. I sat down on the couch, scrolling through Instagram as I waited for Izzie to get ready. When she came down, she grabbed her bag from the kitchen and walked towards me. "Im ready," She mumbled and I nodded. I took her hand and we both went to my car but she held loosely on my fingers instead of firmly holding onto my hand. That hurt...

    "Iz I'm really sorry," I said, looking at her and she sighed. "Come on, we're going to be late," She said, not looking at me. "Izzie please," I said, taking her hand. "Are you embarrassed of me?" She asked, whipping her head to look at me. "You know that's not true," I replied as she bit her lip, trying to control her tears. "I'm completely fine with holding your hand and kissing you in the school corridors because I couldn't give two shits what any of them think. At home... it's different..." I explained, starting the car.

    She didn't say anything for a while but I completely get it. Hearing your girlfriend immediately deny any form of romantic feelings towards you would really suck. "My family's going through stuff because of my dad... and I just left my friends at Newton and I don't wanna dump this huge news on them just yet."

    "But I will soon. And I can't wait to," I said, grabbing her hand and kissing the top of it before interwining our fingers. It was good to see her smile again. "Take all the time you need Newton. I'll wait forever for you..." She whispered. "And since we're being honest here... I'm gonna go see my dad after training today," She said and I looked at her in shock. "Really? So soon?" I asked. I was dreading this day but I knew it would come. I absolutely hated her father and wanted him to have nothing to do with her but I knew it wasn't fair to just completely keep him out of Izzie's life. "Yeah... and I want you to come with me..." She said.