𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒑𝒚

Twenty-Two

𝚃𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚒𝚎'𝚜 𝙷𝚘𝚞𝚜𝚎

𝟷𝟹 𝚁𝚎𝚞𝚡 𝙻𝚗, 𝚀𝚞𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚘, 𝚅𝙰

𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟺, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟸

𝟾:𝟸𝟼 𝙰.𝙼.

"Hello, mother." Tillie greeted coldly, opening the door wider and turning back to her kitchen. "What brings you here?"

The last time she saw her mother was seven years ago, when she was freshly eighteen years old. Her mother looked no different, except for the heavy, purple bags underneath her eyes.

"Tillie, how are you?" Her mother asked her, shutting the front door as she walked into her home. "My, you have a lot of plants."

"Yeah, I'm a botanist. It kind of comes with the job description," Tillie snapped as she returned to wiping down her counters with some cleaner.

"And you're addiction?"

"I'm sober," Tillie rolled her eyes. "For now," she whispered under her breath.

"That's not funny," her mother scolded, to which Tillie only responded with a shrug. "You're much more...relaxed, than you were last time I saw you."

Tillie looked up from the counter tops, tilting her head at her mother. "Okay, first of all, last time I saw you alcohol was more prominent than blood in my veins, I had stress from three jobs, and I was moving into college. Of course I was a little angsty. But you haven't answered my question, why are you here?"

Siobahn sighed, looking around the house, before finally answering, "I want to reconnect, or at least start a relationship with you...I was, uh, diagnosed with breast cancer fairly recently. It dawned on me that I don't want to die without knowing my daughter. And yes, I get that this is selfish of me to do, especially since I've already caused so much pain in your life. But, I just don't want to have this regret."

This news came as a shock to Tillie. What was she supposed to say to this. Her mother is dying, and she hasn't even spent more than an hour with her.

"Uh, okay." Stupid. That's it? That's all you could come up with? "Well, uh, where do we start?"

"We start with apologies. I'm sorry for leaving you like that. That was cruel of me to subject you to." To most people, they would expect a long and elaborate apology, but to Tillie, it was down to earth and it got its point across.

Shrugging, "I'm sorry for being a bitch to you those years ago." Siobahn only nodded in response. "Would you like to sit down?" Tillie gestured to the couch.

As they were talking, Tillie thought of something. She's 25, an adult who runs her own life. She's in a happy, healthy relationship, and she's been on this long journey of healing herself, and forgiving herself. Maybe part of healing is forgiving others as well. She decided she would swallow her pride. Sure what her mother did to her hurt. It caused 25 years worth of trauma for god's sake. But she couldn't go on resenting her parents anymore. She didn't have the energy to do it. She was exhausted, she didn't want to be angry anymore.

Time passed and the two women came to know each other, telling stories, and exchanging opinions.

When the sun began to sink low in the sky, Tillie and Siobahn decided to call it a night. Walking her to her car, Tillie sighed as closure and peace settled in her stomach. 

"Tillie," Her mother said once in the driver's seat, "I just want to tell you that though we may have a ways to go, I'm glad that we were able to have today." 

Tillie smiled as she replied, "Me too."

"And I want to apologize again for the pain that I put you through. That was horrible of me, and it was unforgivable," Siobahn quietly said to her daughter. "So I understand if you can't put it past you." Her eyes lowered to stare at her lap. 

And maybe Tillie was just in a good mood that day, but for some reason she felt soothed by the apology. 

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for what you did, but I can move on. I can keep moving forward," Her mother looked up to her. A small smile danced on her lips. 

Siobahn left Tillie's house leaving her alone once again. 

However, this time it was different. She was alone again, but she wasn't lonely. She had people that she cared for, and she had people that cared for her. 

Walking back inside, she hugged a cardigan around her abdomen, feeling just fine. 

She would be okay, she knew this as a fact now. She would be okay.