BYE BYE BIKINIS [ mbs ]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐢𝐢

• natasha doesn't sleep as much as she should. for one, she is a workaholic and if she leaves something undone, it'll play on her mind and she can't leave it alone or relax until everything she has to do is complete. however, some might notice that often it's night when she decides to overwhelm herself with work, she does it to avoid sleep actually, in fear of being plagued by nightmares.

• often, she slips out of focus in conversations and will zone out. she's quiet, analytical and observing. she'll have conversations with herself in her head. alternatively, if her memories of the past are triggered, this will also cause her to zone out. it's better to leave her alone when this happens.

• she is very flirty and sexual by nature. she uses her sexuality as one of her 'powers', really. she does it to test people's reactions, and usually, she's not actually interested in them. but, this can make it harder on herself and others. it's difficult to decipher when she actually is romantically interested in a person, because she's always flirting no matter what.

• that being said, when she is romantically interested in someone, she doesn't like it. she doesn't like the emotions that comes with it. the giddiness, the blushing, the smiling, the constant thoughts about them. she'll catch herself daydreaming and curse herself, then go angrily train to force her mind away from it. she'll find any excuse to avoid those feelings, push them down, pretend they aren't there. because she doesn't feel like she can be loved, in her mind it's not possible. she doesn't deserve it.

• she is very reluctant when it comes to physical contact. a lot of the time, she'll flinch away, or groan and grumble. but, for the people who are special to her, she's very touchy. she'll offer hugs, allow them to braid her hair, etc.

• she's very stubborn and independent. one of the situations where this is most prominent is if she is wounded. she will put herself last before anything or anyone. even if she is bleeding out, she will always make it her mission to make sure everyone else is okay first, especially if things have gone wrong. she'll only blame herself for her injuries, even if someone else was at fault.

• she also hates having help. she'd rather tend her wounds by herself, spawned from her independence. most of the time she is capable of doing so, but if it does need extra medical attention she'll have to be persuaded, and still grumble and curse in russian about it.

• alright, most of these were dark and sad so here's a more soft or light hearted one: she's such a mom. she mothers everyone, literally all the time. she stops the boys from doing stupid shit, or fighting each other, and will always be persistent about them taking care of themselves. for example, bruce or tony spending too long in the lab? they'll get a scolding. even though she'll deny it, she truly is the mom of them all. in fact, it's surprising she hasn't lost her mind yet, because they're all so dumb and she doesn't know how she puts up with it anymore.

• she prefers to drive motorcycles over cars. she has her own motorbike and it's her pride and joy. although she often speeds way too much for her own good, no matter what vehicle she's driving.

• she actually cries a lot more than she lets on. if she's around others, she'll desperately fight them back and do anything to prevent tears from falling. but she probably cries at least once every day. you'll only see her cry if you insist that she tells you what's wrong, or if she's close enough to allow herself to be vulnerable.

• if she reaches the point of a full breakdown, you'll know, though. mainly because every single mirror around will be smashed. perhaps it could be a deep symbol of how she hates reflecting on the past, or thinking about how that has reflected the person she's become. but actually, smashing mirror's is just good therapy for her. if it happens, you'll find her picking shards of mirror out of her knuckles and muttering to herself in russian.