Kanye, Jeffree Starr, piss, a desert island, piss, a dead body - so much had happened in the last day. How can it get any more exciting than this you ask? I didn't want it to get any more exciting. I wanted to go home to my abusive mom so she could sell me to a more NORMAL boy band!! like idk tame impala or something.
Well, it got more exciting, unfortunately.
Kanye was on verse three of his Poopy-di scoop Scoop-diddy-whoop Whoop-di-scoop-di-poop track and I was drawing dicks in the sand because there was not much else to do.
I don't think I did anything bad enough to deserve this. Yea maybe I used to use a magnifying glass to burn ants using the sunlight but everyone does that. Sometimes you just get fucking yeeted around by the universe and just when you think you might have a moment to catch your breath - boom. The sky opens up and u hear a thunderous booming noise yelling your name.
This is not a metaphor- its exactly what happened next.
the clouds parted and the sky turned black and James or kanye or anyone else didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary so I thought this was one of the funky times I have when I don't take my medications on time. TAKE YOUR MEDS KIDS!!!! OR GOD WILL LITERALLY REACH HIS CLAW LIKE LIMBS FROM THE SKY AND GRAB U.
I would describe to you what god looks like but its more like a feeling with long arms. Like you know the feeling of running through a sprinkler during the summer as a child? It's like that but the sprinkler is made of ice but the ice is fucking hot and sharp and it burns you but its not that bad but also very bad at the same time and like. Smells like the colour green. He looks like how the colour green smells. kind of like wasabi but really shitty dollar store wasabi. imagine smoking weed out of your ass.
"Y/N" he called out to me
"yes sky daddy"
"wait what the fuck did you just call me"
"holy father?"
"that's not what you said"
"I have no idea what you're talking about"
I asked god why they (I think I want to use gender neutral terms for god idk I forgot to ask them) collected me from my piss ridden desert island.
"idk i just wanted to hang out whats up homie"
"idk god not much what bout you"
"nothing much up here. u want a snack?"
God handed me a BTS happy meal.
YOU ARE READING
The worst story on wattpad
Humorthere is a 22% chance any character you like will fuck shrek in this story Every fandom EVER is a part of this book. You want romance? comedy? murder mystery? drama? we have it all. Enjoy. Or throw up. Or cry. Its up to you, Y/N.
