Our Darkest Memories

~ Lost Memory

1 week before forgetting

East River had started to grow on me. I had gotten used to the rules after being stuck there involuntarily for a week.

Involuntarily, because I wanted to get out the moment I got there.

When I had been released from the PSF, the boy named Lee had walked next to me the whole way when we were walking to the camp. He had explained that it was a place where many teenagers had found shelter and that it was all safe. However, when I saw the camp, it was different from what I imagined. I don't know what I had expected, but it wasn't a field with cabins and tents scattered on it.

The girl that had previously helped me get rid of my handcuffs had led me to a cabin somewhere in the middle of the field. She introduced herself as Hanna while she put her black, kinky hair in a bun. Then she introduced me to Clancy, the head of the camp.

He had kept a close eye on me when Hanna explained to him where I came from. He started to ask me questions about myself. If I had been to a camp before, if anyone knew I was here, and if I had been traveling with people. I had truthfully answered, hoping that he would help me find Blaze and Raiden or just let me go find them on my own. But to my surprise, he said that I needed to stay there and that people can't just leave on their own. I had firmly protested. "But my friends are out there somewhere. My little sister is out there. I need to find them."

He had cut me off by saying that if they were close, they would be able to find East River on their own. He then had me move out of the cabin and made me stay a whole week there.

The whole week, I had held onto the hope that Blaze and Raiden would find East River.

But after that one week, I had gotten sick of it. Blaze and Raiden had still not found East River at that time and I doubted highly that they would. It made me frustrated and I started to react agitatedly to many people. It caused everyone to stay out of my way. Everyone, except Clancy. I had seen him around several times, giving me inspecting looks and I didn't know why. It gave me chills because it felt like I was being watched every moment of the day.

So, it was safe to say that I had enough of all of it. So that day, I decided to take action. There had been a rumor going around the camp that there was a group of kids that wanted to leave, and after a bit of research, it led me to Hanna.

"It's true. Me and four others want to leave," she answered when I asked her about it.

"So you're with five? That isn't enough to leave."

She sighed. "I know. That's why Clancy denied our request. But we really want to get out."

That's when the radars in my head started working. I hesitantly started, "I know we don't know each other very well. But I also know that you want to leave the camp and I also want to and..."

"Okay."

"Okay?" I hadn't been sure what she had said.

"Yeah, okay. You can come with us."

"why?" The disbelief was probably readable on my face. I didn't know those people, and they just immediately decided that they were fine with having me along?

"Because I have my little family, and I just want us to find a place that we call home. You are looking for your little family. I get it. I know that you'll probably sneak off and go alone. That's fine by me too. And if you want to stick around a while with us, that's fine too. The thing is, you are looking for your home, and I can't deny you that."

I let out a relieved breath and almost wanted to hug her. She grinned when she saw my excitement and left to tell her group about it.

Later that day, everyone seemed to agree and was already packing their bags, happy to leave. But when the proposal was made to Clancy, he immediately said no.

The news was a shock. The moment I heard it from Hanna, I furiously started to walk towards his cabin to confront him about it. When he got there, there was already another girl with him. The girl with long, almost black hair was telling Clancy about two kids getting into a fight, but I rudely interrupted with an angry outburst of protests. Though the girl was curiously listening, Clancy simply waved me away saying, "I already know that you will leave the group the moment you leave East River. There is no way that I am letting you do that."

And so, I angrily walked out of the cabin with my head focused on where Blaze and Raiden could be and how I would get there. That's when someone else caught my attention.

"Hey, wait!" The girl that had told Clancy about the fighting kids ran out of the cabin.

I stopped to wait, curious what she had to say. When she caught up, she introduced herself as Nadia. "Look, I'm not gonna pretend like I just didn't listen to your conversation."

"Okay?"I asked, unsure where she was going with this.

"Is it okay if I ask why you want to leave East River?"

I nodded and started to tell her how I got here and about how Blaze and Raiden were still out there. "I need to get back to them," I concluded.

She gave me an understanding look.

"I just don't get why Clancy won't let me go already. I'm gonna leave to find Blaze and Raiden one way or the other."

"Well, maybe he doesn't want to let you leave because of the reason he just mentioned or because he just wants to keep you close."

I tilted my head and furrowed my eyebrows. "Why would he want to keep me close?"

She looked me up and down and answered, "Well, I could maybe name a few things, but I don't know if guys are attracted to the same things in girls that I am attracted to."

"Wait, you think Clancy is attracted to me?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You didn't notice he was around you all the time since you got here? He doesn't do that to anyone else. I'd say he likes you."

I had noticed Clancy around me before, but I never thought of him liking me. For some odd reason, it made me feel violated. And at the same time, it caused a pang of pain in my heart, because it immediately made me think of Raiden, and what we felt for each other. When he liked me, it was different. He was honest about it and he didn't creep around me. He was open with it from the start and he showed me his appreciation and adoration.

But Clancy liking me? That was new information. And I didn't know what to do with it, so I just stood there dumbfounded.

Nadia didn't seem to notice that, or just didn't mind, because she started talking again. "You can use that to your advantage though."

"Wait, what? How?"

"I want to leave here too. I don't like it here. It reminds me too much of the camp I've been to, minus the abusing PSFs. So if you don't mind, maybe we could find a way to escape together."

Finally, I found someone who wanted to leave as well. I thought about her proposal for a short time, but almost immediately accepted it. Not only would traveling be safer when we were together, we would also be able to get out of the camp better. Nadia had introduced herself as a green, so she would probably come up with a good plan to get out. I motioned her to continue.

"If you just pretend to want to stay here and get closer to Clancy, we would be able to get more information on a way to escape," she explained.

I let it sink in and then grinned. "Sounds like a plan."