𝐣𝐣 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 || 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ~ 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

ᴡᴀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴏɴ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴛ.³

summary: Y/n loves JJ. JJ loves Y/n. Isn't that enough?

word count: 999.

edited: no.

warnings: none.

─⋆─

Y/n hated what he had done to her.

JJ had damaged her, corroding their love over and over, the reasons vague and incoherent in her eyes. They imploded every time he lost his temper, exploding, breaking into a million pieces and then trying to put them back together with glue and duct tape, leaving cracks everywhere.

But JJ had brought a spark in her life, discovered something inside her that no one had ever been able to find.

Strangers. How can you be a stranger to the person you have loved most in your entire life? Forget everything? Replace them? That's what she had told him to do just three days ago. Before that, neither of them had actually ended their relationship; now her words left no room for personal interpretation or misunderstandings. Maybe she regretted it, maybe she didn't... Did it matter?

«Can I bring you anything else, sir?»

The man she was serving pursed his lips. «Yes, I'll have a--»

«--Y/n?»

She did not need to turn around to understand whose voice that was: it was spotless in her mind, lulling her to sleep, echoing in her dreams and haunting her nightmares.

«I apologize, sir. Where were we?»

«Huh, yes.» The customer frowned, glancing behind her. «I think I'm fine like this, thank you.»

Y/n almost kneeled in front of him, right then and there, begging him to order the whole menu and keep her there as long as possible. However, she nodded disconsolately and turned away.

JJ was a few steps from her. His eyes met hers, his lips parted. When no words came out, Y/n took control of the situation: «All our tables are occupied tonight, sorry.»

«Please.» She stopped. His eyes were eager for her to recognize him, show the love that they used to share, embrace him like they once did. «It'll only take a minute.»

Reluctantly, she followed him out of the restaurant. The sun hid behind the grey clouds, thunder could be heard not too far away, the cool wind stung her skin. JJ had a longing look in his blue eyes. Longing for what? Love? Forgiveness? Her touch?

«What do you want?» Her voice was harsh, but it trembled.

The boy looked at his feet. «I swear I knew it before I got in, then I saw you and...»

«Am I out here for a reason, JJ? I'm, you know, working.»

His hair was in a mess: blond locks stuck out in every direction, falling over his forehead and in front of his eyes, curling in odd angles on his head. His cheeks were uncharacteristically reddened. «No, I...» He grimaced. «There isn't a reason, I guess. Just go back inside.»

She should have, but she didn't. Perhaps her legs refused to move, perhaps her brain didn't send the order, perhaps her heart stopped them both from doing what they should have done... Either way, Y/n just stood there, staring at the boy, picturing him with that unforgettable grin on his lips.

She didn't realize she had spoken until he answered.

«Are you really?» He was cautious. «What are you sorry about, Y/n? Leaving me? Breaking my heart? Pushing me out of your life like I've never been a part of it? Huh. I feel like you've run over me with a fucking truck and then come back to burn the pieces.»

The anger, the regret, the anguish of the last few days, all overwhelmed her in that moment. «Do you think I don't feel the same way? Do you think I don't know how it feels?» His eyes widened in surprise, but she saw hope rise from the blue of his irises. «I hear your voice everywhere! I think I see you in the crowd, or sitting at one of the tables, and then he's just a random guy I've never seen around before. I miss you, but I'm not supposed to say that because I am the one who told you that we needed a break in the first place. A break from what, by the way? I don't even know! I'm confused and-and lonely and miserable without you.» She sighed. «Gosh, that was nice.»

JJ tilted his head to the side. «This doesn't make sense, Y/n. First you totally avoid me, then you tell me we need a break and now... what does that mean?» His bitter laugh echoed around them. «I've always known you were complicated, but this? This is... this is too much even for me.»

«How can you not see it?»

«See what?»

«We cannot have one, just one, conversation without yelling or-or degrading each other. How can this be normal?»

He didn't answer. There was nothing to say; they both knew the truth. It wasn't that simple, though. Yes, they argued and shouted and even despised each other from time to time. They were both hot-headed and insolent, full of pride and stubbornness, their eyes clouded by anger and hurt more and more with each argument. But there was love, and it had to count for something, right?

«I know it's chaotic and suffocating at times... it's a bit like us, isn't it?» JJ took a step forward, slowly, cautiously. He reached out and, when she didn't hurry back into the restaurant, he took her hand; JJ's thumb brushed her soft skin almost unconsciously, just one of his stress-relieving habits. «Yet it would be insane to throw all this away, Y/n. Please, please don't throw us away.»

Her eyes traced his features; her heart and her brain threatened to leave her helpless and speechless. Was she ready to give away everything that they had?

«Loving and not tolerating each other are one package, huh?»

JJ smiled. Finally, she recognized him: the boy who had stolen her heart and wasn't planning on giving it back to her anytime soon.

«Alright, then. I'll sign up for both, I guess. We're not throwing anything away.»

.・。.・゜