𝐣𝐣 𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 || 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ~ 𝐨𝐧𝐞-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

ʟɪᴋᴇ ɢʟᴀss, ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴀᴛᴛᴇʀ

inspired by: the title is from a song ("coffee breath" by Sofia Mills), but the lyrics don't match this at all. I just thought this particular lyric was relatable to the story.

summary: JJ can't sleep. And it's not just because John B's snoring.

word count: 1 047.

edited: no (do we see a pattern here?)

warnings: none.

notes: this was supposed to be a cute, fluffly one-shot, but of course I can't follow one single idea and I always have to exaggerate, soo... It escalated quickly.

─⋆─

«You awake?»

The bed sheets ruffled.

«Y/n?»

The mattress sank beside her.

«Don't pretend to be asleep, doll.»

A warm hand poked her cheek.

«Ah! I saw that, you opened your eyes.»

His fingers ran through her hair, his thumb brushed against her eyelids.

«Come on. You know you can't ignore me.»

A smile threatened to wrinkle her lips. Y/n pushed his hands away, rolling on her side. «What do you want?» she asked, «Don't you have anywhere else to be?»

«Like where?»

«Huh... your bed?»

JJ traced the curve of her nose with his index finger. «Yours is much more comfortable» he stated, breathlessly. She made it hard to focus on anything other than her face. The boy found himself following the rhythm of her chest falling up and down with each breath, his heart pounding in his ears as if to remind him of her dazing proximity.

Crawling further on the bed, he grabbed her hand, each line on their palms aligning perfectly. Her fingers were cold. JJ had the persistent desire to slide a hand under her shirt and around her waist, pulling her closer, sharing his body heat to warm her in that freezy night.

So he did, his heart ready to feel her push him away.

Surprisingly, Y/n hid her face in his chest. She didn't complain when JJ kissed her forehead and rested his chin on her head. «What do you want?» she repeated instead, her voice muffled by the fabric.

JJ chuckled. «May I sleep here?»

«I would say no, but... it seems like you've already made yourself at home.» She kissed his jaw, shivering in his arms.

«Cold?»

«Yeah.» She moved closer. «I'm freezing.»

JJ saw her smirk. He should've known what was coming. After all, Y/n was well-known for two things: 1) making him frustrated, and 2) doing so with an overly innocent smile.

She tugged at his t-shirt, sliding her cold hands under it and over his skin, reaching his chest. She stopped right above his heart, her fingers tapping at its rhythm.

A shaky sigh left his lips. JJ grimaced, knowing that his heartbeat was rapidly increasing under her fingertips. «Better?» he joked.

«Mhm» she hummed, «Much better.»
Y/n found herself dozing off in his arms, a strange feeling settling in her stomach. Then it hit her. «Why did you come here, JJ?»

The boy swallowed. «Couldn't sleep,» he chuckled, «I could hear John B snoring through the wall.»

JJ was an astonishing liar. Too bad Y/n knew all of his astonishing traits: his nose slightly wrinkled upwards, his jaw clenched almost imperceptibly, his blue eyes dulled. He didn't like lying, and that's ironically why he was good at it - the key was to neglect it. Pretend to be honest, pretend to be truthful. Lie for the people you care about, lie for yourself. But don't think about it, don't think of why you're lying, don't think who you're lying for, don't think of what you're lying about: just do it — You are not lying if you ignore the truth yourself, are you?

It broke her heart. Why did he feel like he had to keep stuff from her? Didn't he trust her? Didn't he know how much she cared? But then again, there were things Y/n would have kept to herself as well, no matter how much she trusted him, no matter how much he cared. Some things just aren't made to be shared. Some things just have to stay unspoken.

So she didn't insist. He would've told her, perhaps, later during the night, when their brains became clouded, their eyelids heavy, with their heartbeats slowly fading, their voices low, the words whispered in each other's ears too carefully for the night to catch them. Or maybe the next morning, with their bodies tangled, engulfed in a loving warmth, with their hearts awakening, their thoughts slurred and their throats dry, the words carelessly slipping off of their tongues. And even if she would've never found out what had pushed the boy out of his bed in the middle of the night, wandering through the silence, creeping in her room, searching for gentle touches and genuine lies - even if she would've never known the real, unavoidable reason, it didn't matter.

It didn't matter because he had looked for her. He had found those touches, those lies, in her and her alone. And that was enough to make her forget whatever had led him to her.

«Okay,» she whispered, «Do you... Promise me something, though. Can you do that?»

He nodded, his mind seemed to wander far away. «Yeah.»

«Promise you won't leave in the middle of the night. You know I don't like that.»

JJ turned to her speechless, as if he hadn't realized she was there until that moment. He shivered, suddenly feeling cold, trapped under the bed sheets, his legs quivering to move, his body bothered by the softness of the mattress. He wanted to get up, run away, reach the ocean and breathe, finally breathe after being chained at the bottom of an endless sea of doubts. The walls were closing around him, the ceiling falling down, the sheets pressing on his body, the whole world squeezing the air out of his lungs.

And then he saw her. He saw Y/n. He saw the glimmer of worry in her eyes, the gentle curve of her neck, the silhouette of her body hidden under the covers. He breathed in, he breathed out. She was still there, watching him intently.

He felt better. He felt so much better.

«I won't» he promised, «I won't. It's just... a bad day.»

«I know. You don't have to tell me more.»

So he didn't. He just let her take over, his worries numbing, his senses sharpening.

He breathed her in, he breathed her out.

When his eyes finally closed, Y/n kissed his forehead and turned her body to look at the ceiling.

«A bad day» she repeated, «Just a bad day.» Yet no words had ever sounded so troubling to her ears.     

.・。.・゜