SOUR

1 step forward, 3 steps back

"I'd leave you but the rollercoasters all I've ever had"

Peter Parker
(Marvel)

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Jen never knew how to feel about her and Peters relationship. She had wanted it for so long and yet it now seemed like what was for sale was not what she received when she purchased. He was great to her, she couldn't fault that. He would take her to dinner and they would go on cute little dates and spend nights just cuddled up, but it always felt like whenever something got too good, they had to take three steps back and even it out. She had spent the majority of their relationship living on edge because she truly did not know how he was going to react. What was worse was that she desperately needed to have his approval on whether or not she was fun or pretty. She hated that she gave him power over that kind of stuff.
It seemed like she couldn't win anytime they were together. Her worst time had been when she had spent the afternoon and dinner with him and his aunt. Her most recent encounter spun in her head frequently. Peter had invited her over after school to have dinner and she had happily agreed, loving getting to eat the homemade food from his aunt.
She had shown up at the apartment wearing her purple dress and white trainers and held a box of cookies in her hands. She knew she was loved by the family but she always felt like she had to make a good impression. Peter had opened the door mere seconds after she had knocked and brought her into a quick kiss as they made their way into the home. She placed the box onto the counter before her and Peter made their way into his room. The pair sat down on the bed and Peter immediately started playing with her hair. The two of them were happy together, most people could see that. But no one knew that the fights they would have would cause the pair to be closer and closer to a breakup. She knew that she should maybe leave him because she shouldn't have to go through all this pain just to have the happy moments. But in some crazy messed up way, she kind of found it exciting because it always raised the question of what type of lover she would get each day. Today she hoped she would have the supportive kind because that night she wanted to tell Peter about her school opportunity. The pair were soon called through for dinner and made their way to the table, Peter walking behind Jen with his arms wrapped securely around her waist. They sat down next to each other smiling happily as Aunt May placed the food in front of their seats.
"Oh wow May, this looks a amazing thank you!" Jen exclaims which makes the woman smiles.
She has always liked Jen, even when her and Peter were just friends. She hoped they would end up together because it seemed to be that she was one of the only people who would be able to ground Peter when he got a bit out of character. She would take him on walks and would sit and let him rant in her bedroom before she would shower him with love and support and kisses, letting him know it would all be alright. Especially after Tony died, both Jen and May were aware of how much he needed someone and May had been glad that it had been Jen to take care of him. She wouldn't know however about the many times Peter had taken out all his anger by starting an argument between the pair for no reason. Jen knew she shouldn't blame Peter for his childish behaviour but she was getting sick of it and was glad that it had finally stopped but they were still aware of the underlying issues neither of them were talking about.
May eventually finished serving up and sat down with the couple, shovelling some food into her mouth before she turned to the younger girl.
"So Jen, how's school going?" She asks and she smiles in response.
"Well that's what I wanted to talk about actually, the New York academy of performing arts received my letter and looked at my school stuff and have offered me a scholarship" she tells them both excitedly.
Peter felt his heart sink, the one person he needed was going to leave him? How could she even think about doing that to him, he was going through so much and she was being selfish.
"You declined right? I mean you're not actually thinking on leaving" he half laughs and she gives him a frown.
She shakes her head and May feels the air in the room grow tense, taking this as her cue to leave the room.
"Peter you know I've dreamed of this school for years, why would I decline?"
"Because your friends are more important" he argues and she shifts to look round at him.
"My friends are important but I'm not going to give up my dream just so things can stay the same"
"Well that's pretty selfish if you ask me, we matter too"
"Oh so this isn't about our friends, this is about us"
"Well who knows what will happen when you go, you could find someone completely new and you could leave me, right when I need you most" he scolds her.
"Do you actually have that little faith in me, after everything we've been through together?" She asks, her heart slightly breaking at the way her boyfriend thought of her.
He stays silent and she takes that as his response. She stands up quickly and lets some tears drip down her face as she pushes in her chair and looks to him.
"We'll talk about this when you don't want to act childish" she tells him as she walks out of the home, slamming the door behind her.
Jen stood in the corridor for a minute, she hated whenever her and Peter would fight but she knew it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Like she had said, it felt like every step they took forward, they took three back. She sighed as she made her way down the hall and down the stairs and out onto the busy city streets. She would never truly know if he loved her, hated her or even wanted her but she supposed some things were better not to know.