spencer reid one shots

tense

(y/n) and spencer get in a fight and it brings old memories to the surface

lol once again not proofread also I can't fucking type today so there's probably mistakes

slight tw: toxic father/daughter relationship. very brief and not much detail but if this triggering to you please skip or go past the italics below

910 words

vote and comment <3

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"damn it (y/n)!" he said as he yanked me by my wrist and threw me in my room. I ran to the bed as fast as I could to get away from him.

"I-I'm sorry dad, it was a-an accident," I said, terrified, knees to my chest curled up on my bed. "yeah, well sorry doesn't fix the damn vase you just broke!" he said, slamming it against the wall, shattering it into a million more little pieces and making me jump and revert in on myself even more.

"maybe you were the accident," he muttered as he walked away. he probably didn't think I heard him but I did. that shit really messes with your head when you're eight years old and were just informed you were a mistake for breaking a vase.

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"damn it (y/n) what were you thinking?!" spencer said as he slammed the door shut behind him. "oh, I don't know," I said sarcastically, "maybe I thought that I should save the fucking girl before the unsub took another innocent life! you can't tell me you wouldn't have done the same thing if you were in my situation spencer!"

I turned sharply to walk away. I didn't know what I was doing but I needed to take a break from this fight. the ride home was silent and full of tension and as soon as we walked inside he started yelling.

"(y/n) come back we're not done talking about this," he said and grabbed my wrist. it wasn't enough to hurt but it was enough to bring back the memories. "spencer let me go!" I said and jerked my wrist away from him.

my brain registered he was still talking to me but I wasn't listening. everything he was saying was so fuzzy. I wasn't necessarily zoned out, just shutting him out, pulling away.

he's not your dad. he's not your dad. he's not your dad. I tried to tell myself it wasn't the same. he was concerned about me. he wasn't trying to hurt me and physically, he didn't but he dug up emotional issues I didn't know were still haunting me.

"shit, (y/n) I'm sorry. shit. I forgot, I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean it like that. are you okay?"

"whatever. it's fine. I'm gonna go take a shower," I said and walked towards the bathroom.

I stood in the shower for what felt like forever, just letting the scalding water run over my skin. after a while of just standing there and not actually doing anything, I got out.

when I walked in the bedroom, spencer was sitting on the edge of the bed hunched over, his head in his hands. when he heard me he looked up, with what looked like a combination of love, fear, and guilt in his eyes. he walked over to me cautiously, testing the waters. his hands hovered over my waist and he looked like he needed to say something.

"(y/n) you have to believe me. I really didn't mean it like that. I was terrified I was gonna lose you. you could have fucking died. it didn't feel right to just leave the conversation like that. but it was stupid. I'm so sorry. you trusted me. you told me what your father did to you and I did the same damn thing. I feel terrible. I-" I cut him off before he could ramble anymore.

"spencer I know you didn't mean to hurt me. you didn't hurt me. but I also didn't realize something as simple as you grabbing my wrist could trigger something like that. I guess I'm a little more damaged than I'd like to admit. you didn't do anything wrong. yes, I did trust you with that information, and spencer, I still do. you didn't do the same thing, though. my father was an abusive asshole who did everything in his power to make my life hell. you were just worried about me, I get it. I know what I did was stupid but we lost so many spencer. this case was awful. and it was children on top of that. the ones with kids just hit so much harder. we couldn't lose another one, spence," I said, tears falling down my cheeks.

spencer just shushed me and wiped my tears away. "I know (y/n/n), it's okay. it hurts me too. and you're right, if I was in your position, I would have done the same thing. but that doesn't matter. all I care about is that you're okay, physically and mentally. (y/n) I love you so much it hurts and I don't think I could live if I lost you," he said and it was my turn to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"spencer it's okay, I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much too. you couldn't possibly think I would be that easy to get rid of," I said, earning a light laugh from him. "come on, I'm starving," I said realizing we both haven't eaten consistently the past couple days. "I'm in the mood for chinese, sound good?" I asked. "that sounds amazing! I'll go call it in," he said and walked to the phone.

yes, my dad really fucked me up in so many different ways, but, I also had an amazing boufriend now that has helped me in ways I didn't know I needed it.

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wow look at me uploading so close together. lol school has just started but I can already tell it's bout to kick my ass. also I apologize I hate endings and hate writing them that's why all of mine suck