The Unnatural Disasters

2. Giving the cub scouts guns: Omega

As the marble thing lunges at Newton, I begin to wonder if 'Protect the merch' team isn't really going so well.

Why do we need a whole two people to protect some stalls, anyway? Is someone going to give us a negative review if we don't?

'Saved my daughter's life, but not my glitter jam-jars. Zero stars.'

Even if that's the case, I'm not doing anything much to help at the moment. Human-shielding a guy called Herbert and a display of 3D panda mouse mats probably isn't the best use of my time.

Newton is refusing my help until 'she really needs it' though, and it's not like I'm the best at saving people.

Goop, by the way, is currently very angry with me, due to the fact that there's a defenceless man in our presence who's still breathing.

"You okay back there?" I ask Herbert. He's curled up in one small corner of the tent, clutching a bundle of sweaters like a child would a teddy bear. He nods mutely.

"Good."

Newton looks like she's performing an unprompted circus act- flipping and twirling on every surface available, using her lasso-thing whenever possible. She looks awkward though, stiff. I know she's not a fan of the new outfit.

Marble thing seems utterly fine. If it weren't trying to do... whatever it's trying to do, I'd say it looks weirdly pretty.

An upgrade on 'robot spider made by someone who's never seen a spider', at least.

"Still no need for help?" I yell to Newton; she's now trying to drag a folding table across the room, for whatever reason.

"Nah, this guy's not doing anything much. I can handle it."
The marble thing- spotting me and Herbert- proceeds to do much.

Great! It advances towards us.

Probably the main flaw of these things is that they aren't fast.

At all.

They move at the speed you'd expect a group of marbles clumped together would do: i.e. at the pace of a dying man. Unfortunately, these things make up for their lack of speed but being very difficult to move, hurt or just stop in general. So I just have to stare at it, deer in the headlights, as it continues its painful crawl to us.

Herbert taps my shoulder lightly.

"Yes?"

"Well, um..." he begins, "This may be the wrong time, but- uh-"

"Right. Well, uh, I guess that you're going to have to speak to my associate about that-" I say, walking out into the aisle, "because there's something I need to deal with right now.
"Hey!"

I'd say the thing turns round. It doesn't turn round, because it has neither eyes nor a defined face in order to turn around with. Instead it just creeps towards me and away from Herbert. As it advances, I begin to regret my decision.

"Look." I grin. "How about we talk this out, right? One squishy guy to another? Diplomacy?"

The thing responds by fanning itself out towards me. Stray marbles clack onto the floor, rolling away as they become unstuck from the thing. It's about twice the size it was now, towering over me- and choosing not to attack. I guess it thinks this'd be enough to scare me away. I'm not going to look a gift horse in the mouth with this one, really.

"Okay! Guess diplomacy's out the window. Goop?"

Goop looks up at me, slightly confused.

"Cover."

Bletch. Doubt I'll ever get used to that experience.

Me-as-Goop fans out, like a lizard.
Or a cat.

A lizard-cat?

Either way, I'm just slightly larger than marbles now.

It staggers back; I watch as it spreads out even more. And more. And more.

It's just a marble-layer thick now. Barely able to stand, it wobbles dramatically.

I sigh, mirroring his idea- this is not what I wanted to do today.

I hit something.

It's the ceiling.

Brilliant! I am now officially taller than marbles. It feels like trying to clench every muscle I have at once for an extended period of time, but hey! It's better than dying.

I suddenly realise I have no idea what to do now.

Wait.
I spot Newton- God, she looks so small from here- waving at me from behind marbles. She is pointing towards a large cardboard box.

I think I know her plan.

I hope I know her plan.

I topple forwards, pushing marbles back. It shrinks down: folding inwards, downwards as I cover it like a tent. I close in on it, surround it whilst the box stands in the centre of it all.

It takes a second: a second for it to be backed into the box. A second for Goop to go back. A second for Newton to slam down on the lid and a second for it to be taped down.

"Will it hold?" Herb asks, looking nervously at the shaking box.

"If it doesn't, we'll be long gone by then."

Newton swings herself up onto the folding table she had moved away.

"What was the thing?" I turn to face Herbert.

"What?"

"You said you needed to tell me something. Just before all... that."

"Oh! That!" Herbert looks sheepishly down to the ground.

"Well, uh, I should have mentioned this before- but, well, that marble thing? It wasn't alone."

"Elaborate?"

"Everyone else got taken somewhere... the hall, I think... but I hid under the table, and, well, that thing found me. But then you found me! Too! You saved me!"

"No offence, but, uh..." Newton crosses her arms as she speaks. "Why couldn't you say this before?"

"You- you seemed a little preoccupied."

He looks down at the ground.

I frown, looking at Newton for the general consensus. She begins.

"Well, I guess we-"

"Wait!" Herbert looks at us wildly, before running towards one of the stalls.

"I-" he continues, rummaging through a pile of neatly folded clothes- "have something for you. Here."

He runs back; I get some soft fabric handed to me.

"I make- well- I make strong clothes for a living, right? Mainly for paranoid rich people who can't be bothered to wear actual protective clothes. But here! For saving my life."

I look at the thing in my arms: it's a faux-leather jacket, with a little embroidered rose on the shoulder. Newton is staring at hers- a long, peach-coloured trench coat- with the sort of look people reserve for holding their newborn baby.

"But we couldn't possibly-" she begins, looking up at Herbert.

"No! No. I insist. I'd far rather give it to you to sell it to someone who'll only use it to show off to their cricket club."

"Thanks. Really."
She slips it on, and I do with mine.

"Guys?"

We look round in unison. It's Pixel- I think- and Decibelle.

Newton begins.

"We got some new info, apparently-"

"Everyone's stuck in the main hall? Heard that one." Decibelle replies.

"Well..." I venture.

"Wanna go together?"

Sure!"